


A New Name, A New Life

by McDrogo



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Ain't no dead tigers here, Canon-Typical Violence, Daryl & Carol how they were meant to be, Eventual Smut, F/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Shiva LIVES!, The Kingdom (Walking Dead), Trauma, family is who you choose, lots of walkers, people can suck, trauma and bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25570759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McDrogo/pseuds/McDrogo
Summary: Q has survived on her own for a long time, in doing so she's lost who she was, not knowing what she will become. Can she be saved by The Kingdom? Can Daryl and Carol bring her back from the edge?***TWD spin-off taking place 3 years after Beth died, the Saviors have been handled and Carol and Daryl live in The Kingdom.Slow-burner, Daryl Romance, because WHY NOT!***I started writing this before the Season 8 premiere so keep that in mind! I have about 20+ chapters written already, so I’ll be posting regularly for a while to get in the flow 😍😍
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Original Female Character(s), Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 25





	1. Take Me to Your Leader

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeere we go! Thanks for reading and remember, comments fuel the fire!
> 
> Unless you’re a dick... so just don’t be a dick 😆😉

She heard the trap set, tearing her from her restless sleep. They had naively wandered into her barn, she assumed looking for anything to scavenge. The hidden net, pieced together with rope and horse blankets, knocked them together, lifting them off the ground. The men dropped their weapons on the floor below them while letting out a mix of curses and yelps.

“Son of a bitch!” Tonkin yelled out. He quickly took stock of their current predicament, which was far closer to FUBAR than he’d care to admit. How none of them noticed the trap when they entered the barn was beyond him.

A slight creak and shift of light from up in the hayloft caught his attention. Running his eyes across the dark corners of the barn as best he could, Tonkin was unable to make out anything beyond the shadows...

“Shh!” He snapped at his men, “…Who’s there?”

Silence.

“Can y’all see anything?”

“Nothing.” “No.” His companions mumbled.

Tonkin took a deep breath, knowing their only chance of getting out alive was also arguably the easiest way of getting shot... depending on who he was dealing with, but, since there didn’t seem to be a better alternative, he exhaled and calmed his voice, “Look… we aren’t here to hurt you.” 

He cringed at the cliché as it came out of his mouth.

“Ok, I know how that sounds. We’re just on a supply run for our camp. Saw the barn… YOUR barn…” he corrected himself, “…and had to check it out.” He waited for a response… but none came.

“Just let us down and we’ll leave. No problem.” He continued, anxiety building in his gut and needing to fill the silence. He glanced as best he could at his two companions, not able to hide the concern in his face.

“Where is your camp?” A woman’s voice questioned cautiously and firmly from the shadows.

Tonkin shifted against the ropes and glanced at his men who nodded. “About 10 miles north of here… a place called The Kingdom.”

She scoffed in the darkness, “The Kingdom?”

“Ha, ya I know how it sounds. But if you’re in need of a safe place… well, SAFER place… if you let us go, we could show you.”

You could hear a pin drop in the silence. “I don’t think so.” She said plainly.

The three men began grunting and shifting, trying to stretch the holes in the net to reach their weapons, expecting to meet their maker at any moment, but their efforts were fruitless.

Exhausted, Tonkin exhaled, “Please.” He said gently. “Please… I’ve got a family back there. We’ve lost so much already… we all have… please don’t kill us.”

She’d encountered her fair share of monsters, alive and dead, and these men didn’t set off that itch deep inside that had saved her life time and time again. She believed that his plea was genuine at least. 

“Tell me more about The Kingdom.”

Tonkin let out a sigh of relief, figuring that if she was asking him questions, that meant she hadn’t decided to kill them yet. 

He explained what The Kingdom was, what it stood for, and about their leader, King Ezekiel. She couldn’t fight the smirk that formed on her lips as she listened to him, the idea of a man with a tiger claiming to be a king was certainly a new one. She realized it was the first time she’d even slightly smiled in a long time.

Tonkin waited in silence, hoping that his description of their home was enticing enough to at least let them go, even if she didn’t come with them. 

After a few minutes passed, she came out of the shadows to get a closer read on the man while Tonkin tried to process what was in front of him.

She was clearly strong, clenching a large dagger in her hand, and she wore the physical scars of experiences he didn't want to imagine. She wasn't threatening in size, but she made up for it with the unbridled ferocity in her green eyes that were partially obstructed by a mess of long, light brown hair haphazardly braided over her shoulder. Her faded jeans were dusted with mud and what he hoped was only walker blood, tucked into old combat boots. He saw the myriad of tattoos peeking out from under her worn green shirt, including the unmistakable outline of a tiger with a crown of thorns on her right forearm. 

He let out a breath of amusement and surprise as she closed in on his group. Unable to read her expression, his pulse raced as he thought the end was about to finally catch him.

She circled the three men like an animal stalking her prey. Nobody spoke, the sounds of their heavy breathing and the creaking of their rope prison swaying filled the room. Then she was gone. 

Tonkin glanced towards the other men who seemed just as confused and nervous as he was. Squinting his eyes against the dark, he tried to find the woman again. 

Suddenly, a loud THUNK broke the silence and almost instantly the net, along with the three men trapped in it, dropped to the ground.

Tonkin stood up slowly motioning to his men to do the same. They scanned the room around them... Nothing. Picking up their weapons, they cautiously made their way towards the way they had entered.

Before Tonkin could reach it, the door flew open, making him jump back. Blinded by the sun, he raised his free hand to block the light. 

A pack landed in front of them, momentarily followed by the woman stepping out from the shadows as she retrieved her bag.

"Well. Take me to your leader." She said, matter of factly.

Tonkin looked surprised and let out a nervous laugh. “Alright then.” He nodded as he and his men made their way closer to the open door.

“Is it just you?” He asked hesitantly, slowing his pace as he realized that he probably should’ve asked sooner. Now hoping they weren’t about to just walk into another trap. 

She considered him, like she was reading between the lines of his question, before giving him a slight nod, and backing out of the doorway.

The men stepped into the sun, stretching and shaking out their arms and legs that had gone numb during their brief capture. 

“Alright then…" Tonkin said again, sharing an anxious glance with his men, "...thank you. Uhm… Let’s get moving.” He finished, slugging his gun over his shoulder as he gestured North, back the way they’d come.

****

During the 10-mile trek back to The Kingdom, the woman remained on the outskirts of the group, at least 20 feet or so to the east at all times. Tonkin had assumed she would keep her distance as long as possible and was secretly grateful that he didn't have to worry about getting stabbed in the back on the way.

As the light summer breeze blew, he realized she had put them downwind. He shook his head as a smile crept across his face.

"Are you using us as walker bait?" A slight chuckle rolling through his chest.

Her eyes cut to him briefly, her expression unwavering, she blinked then returned her focus straight ahead. 

"Huh. Not a bad idea.” He smiled towards her, “You know, you'll have to actually talk to the king when we get there...” 

He cleared his throat, trying to break the tension he felt building. 

“And you'll obviously have to surrender your weapons." He added somewhat rushed.

She didn't even blink as he tried to gauge her reaction.

He didn't get the feeling she was necessarily a bad person, she had let them go after all, but she certainly was a dangerous one. He couldn’t help but liken her to a stray cat, content enough to be in your proximity but if you got too close, the claws would come out.

The walk to The Kingdom was long and uneventful, Tonkin and his men chatting along the way. Occasionally throwing questions out to the woman without any response. About a mile out from their destination, as the trees became denser as part of the kingdom's protection from the south, Tonkin glanced to the woman, and yelled, "You might want to get closer, this part of the woods ain’t as clear as what we've been through. Keeps strangers from just waltzing up to our doors." He said with a half-smile.

When he looked back to make sure she’d heard him, she was gone. He stopped in his tracks, his two companions looking equally mystified as they surveyed the area, the underbrush too thick to see more than 10 feet in any direction.

“Well. Shit.”

As they moved forward into one of the few clearings in the area to regroup, Tonkin quickly realized that they were not alone. The all too familiar sounds of the dead closing in built rapidly around them. Walkers pushed through the thick underbrush, their skin catching and tearing on surrounding terrain. The way they had come was not an option now. 

“Shit.” Tonkin cursed under his breath, “The fucking breeze must've drawn them in...” 

Or, he thought to himself, his apparent need to talk to the now vanished woman. 

It didn’t matter now, as he counted 20 walkers in his field of vision and prayed to whatever god was above that that was it. The three men armed themselves and stood in a small triangle, hoping to delay the fight as long as possible.

As the walkers closed in, the men began taking out those closest to them, slashing and stabbing at their skulls, feeling desperate and quickly overwhelmed at their incessant clacking as they tried to take bites from their flesh. A strange sound flew past Tonkin's head and the thought raced through his mind that maybe a walker had finally gotten to him but maybe due to shock and adrenaline he hadn't felt it. Turning to follow the sound, another walker close to him hit the ground, a bolt through it's forehead.

He looked back over his shoulder as a third walker stopped in its tracks and collapsed to the ground. Regaining his courage, Tonkin resumed his assault on the walkers in his path, barely acknowledging the others that fell around him.

Once he’d stabbed the last walker through the temple with his knife, he turned, panting to see the carnage that remained. One of his men was crouched on the ground, the other standing near the edge of the tree line, shock still haunting his face. 

Tonkin squat down, the reality of what had almost happened sinking in. He looked to the opposite end of the clearing where Daryl had appeared, pulling a bolt from a walker’s head.

He gave a knowing nod to Tonkin who returned the gesture with a chuckle, "That was close."

Daryl growled slightly as he closed the gap between them, "I could hear ya a mile away. Why'd y’all come back this way?" He asked, with a skeptical glance.

"Funny you should ask. We had a guest...” he gestured to the woods, while still trying to catch his breath, “…but she disappeared right before the shit hit."

Daryl made his way to the first walker he had taken out, narrowly missing Tonkin in the process. Tonkin unconsciously rubbed his ear at the memory. Daryl let out a gravely humph as he pulled the bolt free, "Smart girl."

"Aw shit!" One of the other men let out a frustrated groan. He was pacing a few feet away from the third member of their away team. Tonkin stood, he and Daryl could now see that the third man must have been killed early in the fight, because he was turning, his reanimated corpse haphazardly working its way up from the ground.

Tonkin growled, "Shit. SHIT." Daryl could see that neither man wanted to handle the situation, so, knowing the internal battle all too well, he loaded his crossbow to take the shot.

Before he had a chance to take aim, a knife flew past his head, ending the man's brief afterlife as a walker. Daryl spun on his heel and raised his bow at the woman who had appeared in the clearing.

Their eyes locked, a silent battle of wills taking place. Although the woman didn’t appear to be armed, her hands clinching slightly at her sides, Daryl could see the threat in front of him. She had a feral look in her eyes that he knew all too well. Unwilling to risk being the next recipient of her blades, he maintained his aim as he felt the tension creep up his spine.

Tonkin let out a cough, breaking the silence. He slowly reached out towards Daryl's crossbow, motioning him to lower it. "That would be our missing guest..." He said cautiously.

Daryl lowered his weapon, but kept it at the ready as the woman made her way around the edge of the clearing, watching Daryl out of the corner of her eye while she maneuvered.

Daryl and Tonkin watched as she reached their fallen man, pulled her ornate dagger from his head, wiped it on his shirt then returned it to the sheath on her belt.

"Oh come on..." Tonkin let out a sigh, as he ran his hand down his face. Clearly not comfortable with the lack of respect she was showing his fallen companion. But then, without looking at him, she pulled a towel from the man's bag and laid it over his mutilated face. 

“Huh." Tonkin whispered, his hands on his hips, looking back to Daryl with a casual shrug.

Daryl was still trying to gauge the situation. Tonkin obviously didn't know this woman well enough to anticipate her actions and that didn’t sit well with him. 

"What's your name?" Daryl grunted, nodding in her direction.

She didn't respond, she didn't react at all to his question. She just stepped over the remains, making her way to another dagger sticking out of a walker. Tonkin realized then that she had actually been the one to take out the second walker that almost got him.

Running his hand through his thinning hair, he let out an exhausted chuckle, “Well. I'll be damned... Um, thanks. Again." He smiled at her.

Without acknowledging him, she cleaned the gore from her dagger and returned it to the holder behind her back. Daryl had to wonder how many knives she was hiding... And where...

Then the word clicked, “Again?" Daryl looked to Tonkin for an explanation.

Tonkin shrugged, "We should get inside. The King'll want to know about James..." Gesturing at the man with a towel over his face. "We'll send a recovery team for him, bury him proper inside." He finished with a pat on the remaining man’s shoulder, an attempt to comfort and remind him that there was nothing else to be done, a testament to the world they lived in.

Daryl nodded, his eyes drifting quickly back to the stranger, watching every move she made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta develop some characters before we get to the smutty smut smut stuff 😉 Thanks for reading!!


	2. Time to Meet The King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q has some sharing issues, Tonkin can’t seem to shut up, my girl Shiva makes her royal debut, Daryl has some weird feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y’all, gaining a little momentum here. 
> 
> Keep in mind that I wrote this a few years back, and as I keep rereading the chapters to post, I make like 1000 edits and question everything, cuz that’s how I roll.
> 
> Also... grammar police, don’t @me... The Kingdom, The King vs the King vs the king gets me every damn time...

  


As the four made their way through the last bit of the dense woods, Daryl walked in line with the strange woman. Never quite taking his eyes off her and never allowing her to stray too far from the group. Her hand was rhythmically clenching and unclenching the hilt of her dagger, eyes drifting between the woods, the rough bowman on her left, and the two men ahead of her.

Tonkin, who’d taken point, could feel the tension growing behind him again. Now that she’d saved his life, he felt a little more relaxed engaging with her. At this point, he figured if she’d wanted him dead he probably would be. Arguably, the walkers would’ve been an easy way to get the job done. 

Clearing his throat he glanced over his shoulder, "So... You uh throw daggers, set elaborate traps... Sense walkers... I guess..."He laughed, motioning back to where they had just come from, "Where’d you learn all that?"

He hadn’t really expected her to answer, but he still chuckled at her lack of response. At this point he’d be content talking to himself to fill the thick silence surrounding the group.

"Right. Well, can I at least get a name to tell the king? It's hard to introduce someone without a name..." 

Tonkin glanced back again, catching the way she was fidgeting with her dagger, like a nervous tick. He watched her taking in her surroundings, looking like her mind was runnin a mile a minute. But when she caught Daryl’s eyes on her, her hand stopped its movement, and he looked away, clearing his own throat.

Tonkin smiled to himself as he faced forward, cataloguing that brief interaction in his head. 

A minute or so passed before he heard her finally break her silence. “Q."

Tonkin let out the breath he'd been holding, finally having something to work with. "Ok. Q. Got it. I’m Phil, but everybody just calls me Tonkin.” He smiled at her, then waited for someone else to speak up. Much to his chagrin, no one else did. 

With an exaggerated sigh, he turned around fully, slowing his pace to walk backwards in tandem with the other man’s steps. Slapping him on his back to snap him out of the tense daze he was in, he continued the introductions, “Right, well this man here is Dennis.” Then gesturing to Daryl, “And this verbose gentleman givin’ you the side eye is Daryl.” 

“Yeah, keep walkin’.” Daryl scoffed, his soft spot for the older man finally breaking his focus on her. 

Tonkin laughed again, shaking his head at the awkwardness he found himself in. To his relief, when he turned back around, he saw the entrance to The Kingdom peaking through the trees ahead.

Q’s eyes looked towards the gates and then followed the walls that went off in either direction, eyebrows raising slightly at the sight of the sheer size of the community in front of her. As the gates opened, Daryl held back, letting the group enter in front of him. Noticing his change of position, Q’s grip tightened on her dagger, ready to draw if provoked. 

Tonkin gave her a reassuring nod as she cautiously followed him into The Kingdom. He leaned over to Dennis, speaking quietly and entrusting him to take care of James’ remains. After sparing a quick, nervous glance at Q, Dennis nodded and ran off.

A large smiling man, with black hair tied tightly in a bun, came barreling out of the building ahead, eyes set on Tonkin, he hollered, “Hey Man! You made it! We were worried when we hadn't heard from you! Well, I was worried, HE figured your old ass would be back in time for dinner." He laughed, embracing Tonkin in a half hug, half back slap before releasing each other.

Tonkin sighed, "Yeah, well we lost James at the end there. Got surrounded about a mile out.” The large man frowned and nodded as he looked down, like was saying a quick prayer for his fallen friend.

"Luckily, Daryl was close by or we would've all been done for. Well, and this lovely lady as well..." Tonkin gestured to Q.

The large man’s eyes lit up as he stepped forward, holding his hand out with a giant smile on his face, “Well that's great then. Hey, I'm Jerry!"

Q shifted back, her hand still on her dagger. Jerry’s jovial smile slowly faded as Tonkin sighed giving him a slight shrug. Jerry lowered his hand, looking between Daryl and Q with wide eyes, “Cool. Ya, ya no, it’s cool.”

Tonkin turned to face Q. "Right. Ok, Miss Q.” He took a deep breath and gestured openly with his hands, hoping to reassure her that he meant her no harm, “I’m gunna need your weapons before you see The King."

Q looked at his outstretched hands, contemplating her options as she felt the men around her tense.

Realizing she didn’t have much of a choice if she wanted to meet this ‘king’ she slowly removed her pack along with her dagger. She flipped it casually, catching it blade first without cutting herself and passes it to Tonkin by the hilt. He smiled and took it, then waited, his other hand still held out as he raised his eyebrows. She slowly reached under her shirt for the dagger they knew was there and let out a soft growl as she handed it over.

“Great! This way!” Jerry said cheerfully clapping his hands together before turning back to the building he had come from.

“Hey, hold up.” Daryl stopped them, not convinced that was all she had hidden. He walked up to her as she glared straight into his eyes, not seeming the least bit intimidated. Daryl was taken back slightly, her green eyes never once showing any signs of fear or concern, just a feralness lurking behind them. It was a look he’d seen before… like part of the soul was damaged… and it was one he’d seen in his own reflection for a long time after Atlanta.

Daryl broke the connection first, clearing his throat and giving a slight jut of his chin, silently asking for her permission. Q gave a short nod, letting out a low growl as she raised her arms slightly to the sides, allowing Daryl to search her.

“Uhmm is that really necessary?” Jerry asked rather uncomfortably, as Daryl worked his way down her legs. Reaching her boot, he found a small knife strapped to the interior side of her leg. Letting out a slight scoff, Daryl removed the knife.

“Guess so…” Jerry said under his breath, attempting to look anywhere but at the awkward inspection happening in front of him.

Moving to her other leg, Daryl patted a lump in her front right pocket and Q tensed. Sensing her unease, he glanced up at her before removing the small bundle of worn paper bound with a string. As he began to pull at the string that kept the items together, Q’s breath quickened, her expression rapidly darkening as something inside snapped. She threw a knee into Daryl’s chest, knocking him on his ass.

“No!” She snarled as she dove to where Daryl had dropped it, quickly repositioning herself in a defensive crouch. Daryl, already back on his feet, armed himself with the knife he had removed from her leg. “The fuck?!” He yelled back at her.

Tonkin quickly stepped between them, desperate to diffuse the situation before it got uglier. Shaking his head, he spoke in a stern voice, “Ok, that’s enough! Enough. Q… is it a weapon?” She shook her head no, never looking away from Daryl. “Alright, so she can keep it then…” he told Daryl, motioning for him to hand over the knife he was now gripping tightly. 

Q shoved the bundled paper back into her pocket as she stood up, then she slowly raised her arms again so he could finish his search.

Daryl scoffed and handed the small knife to Tonkin, slowly resuming his pat down where he’d left off. When he finished without finding any other contraband, he nodded to Tonkin and Jerry, giving them the all clear. And as Q lowered her arms, Daryl caught sight of the tattoo on her forearm. 

“Sweet. This way!” Jerry smiled, and motioned for them to follow, clearly just happy that no one had been stabbed.

Q fell in behind Jerry, resolved to follow him into unknown danger, but Daryl grabbed Tonkin’s arm and held him back.

“You see that?” He gestured after her with a slight jut of his chin. 

“Ha. The tattoo? Ya, hard to miss… he’s gunna love that.” Tonkin chuckled as he gave him a friendly pat to the chest, following after them. 

“Ya, no shit.” Daryl scoffed under his breath, rubbing his chest where the bruise from Q’s knee was already forming.

******  


Jerry led Q into a dark hallway where she saw a set of double doors with an armed guard on either side. 

“Alright, just wait here a minute while I announce you.” Jerry told her with a smile. Even knowing it wouldn’t be returned, even in the slightest, he just couldn’t help himself. 

Jerry disappeared through the double doors, leaving her with the two armed guards, the feeling of unrest building as she waited. 

Q was mapping the building around her, attempting to count exits, weapons, guards... making an exit strategy in her head when Tonkin swung open the exterior door. He let Daryl enter ahead of him, and when he stepped inside, his eyes meeting Q's immediately as the light from outside caught her face. She instinctively reached for the sheath where her missing dagger usually lived.

Daryl knew that look and that body language all too well. He had felt it many times throughout his life... Before and after the turn. She felt caged, bordered on suffocating... the anxiety in her eyes was now coming off her in such strong waves he could feel it from 15 feet away.

She broke their connection first and began to pace by the window. She wasn't in control here and slowly the realization of the danger she had knowingly put herself in was sinking in.

He felt a pang of empathy for her, momentarily forgetting about the swift knee to the chest he’d taken not five minutes prior. He looked to Tonkin who gave a slight shrug as he leaned against the nearest wall, suddenly very interested in his shoes. 

Daryl cleared his throat, trying to think of something to say, unfortunately finding himself at a loss. For all of the strengths he had in this fucked up life, he could never seem get the nuances of small talk. Deciding to move closer, he opened his mouth to attempt break the silence when Jerry threw open the doors, his infectious smile stretching from ear to ear.

"The King will receive you now!"

******  


It wasn't what she was expecting... essentially, it was an old school or church auditorium turned throne room. Walking down the aisle behind Jerry and Tonkin, she was able to see a large tiger pacing behind what appeared to be an actual throne. It let out a deafening roar at the sight of her, pulling it's chain tight.

“Fuck!” Tonkin flinched, hand to his chest, just as he did every time she roared. Because regardless of all the walkers he’d put down, all the blood and death... that tiger still scared the shit out of him. 

Daryl’s eyes we on Q, watching for any sign of aggression as they got closer to the stage. He was surprised when he noticed that Q's body had actually seemed to relax when the roar shook the walls around them.

The group stopped at the end of the aisle as a boisterous voice filled the room, "Tonkin! My heart is unburdened by your return! However, I was of course greatly saddened to hear of our fallen companion. James was a good soldier and a loyal member of The Kingdom. His death will be honored and he shall be remembered as a hero!"

Tonkin bowed slightly to the man, “Thank you, your majesty. Your words mean a great deal to me." Standing up straight, he stepped out of Q's view of the throne, allowing her to finally lock eyes on The King. He was casually sitting with one leg over the armrest of his throne, his thick, greying dreadlocks hanging past his shoulders. 

“And who is this?!" The King asked in a very regal, yet friendly tone as he spotted Q. He adjusted his position, leaning forward with one hand on his knee to get a better look.

"Your majesty, may I introduce one of our protectors from the day's battle... Uhm... Q." He ended abruptly and somewhat awkwardly.

The King eyed Q closely, causing her chest to constrict, mentally bracing herself for whatever he might throw at her. His eyes were searching for something, trying to get a read on her or, shit, look into her soul, so she refused to blink or look away. After a moment, when his eyes flickered down and locked onto her tattoo, his mouth grew into a mischievous grin from ear to ear.

Never one to endure an awkward silence, Tonkin cleared his throat, "Q, this is our fearless ruler, protector of The Kingdom, his majesty, King Ezekiel."

Q nodded slightly and the king let out an animated laugh.

"Excellent! Welcome brave warrior! The Kingdom shall hear stories of your heroism. Please, will you do me the great privilege of joining us for this evening's feast?! We will break bread to honor the fallen and the returned." He motioned to Tonkin.

Q's intense gaze began to soften when she realized the king didn’t intend to interrogate her in front of the group. She was grateful, the tension slowly unclenching in her chest. Something about the king, either the fact that he seemed to be drinking his own koolaide or the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, put her at ease for the first time in a long time. Batshit crazy or not, she got the distinct impression that he really meant her no harm. 

“Yes. Thank you... Your majesty." She said clearly, bowing a little lower this time.

Daryl cocked his eyebrow, surprised at her change in tone and physicality. Was she playing Ezekiel? Or was she really buying into this shit? What was her endgame here? She didn’t strike him as the kind of person to thrive inside the walls... didn’t mean she wouldn’t be useful... Useful to The Kingdom, not to him personally, obviously... He growled slightly trying to chase the strange shift in thoughts from his head. 

“Daryl?” 

His name cut through the strange fog of questions playing his head. He looked up to see the king smiling at him expectantly.

After all his time here, and having seen Ezekiel being not 'kingly' behind closed doors, he still felt like this whole charade was forced and fucking weird... But, he knew it was important to the morale of The Kingdom to play along, so he tried not to sound cynical in front of others as he cleared his throat, "Your majesty?” 

"Will you show our honored guest to her chambers so that she may rest prior to our joyous celebration?"

"Uhm... Ya. Yes." He replied awkwardly as Tonkin barely attempted to hide a knowing chuckle behind his hand. Daryl shot him a quick glare.

"Excellent! Jerry! Shiva and I shall retire as well. You may release the court." He said with a wave of his hand. The giant purring tiger nuzzled beside him as he stroked her fur.

Q was entranced by Shiva. If someone had told her yesterday that she’d be almost face to face with a live tiger today, she would’ve thought they’d lost their fucking minds... she’d just assumed she’d never see one again after the world went to shit. Unable to look away, she watched as the king exited the stage, Shiva sauntering loyally at his side.

She let out a startled laugh. Daryl and Tonkin turned to her immediately, both looking surprised at the sound, but the brief crack in her armor passed as quickly as it came. The reality of the world flooding back to the forefront of her mind. She shook it off and turned to face Daryl. 

"Alrigh’, Com' on." He said gruffly, motioning with his head for her to follow.

When they stepped out of the building, Tonkin held out her bag and weapons for her. She furrowed her brow at him confused, wondering if it was a test or a trick... She hadn’t expected to see them again for the remainder of her stay. 

“Once the king invites you as a honoured guest, the rules change." He said with a smirk, getting a little closer as she took them from his hands. 

"But remember, we're still mostly a civilized society within these walls." He finished with a wink, only partially joking, giving a casual wave as he walked away from them. “See you at the feast!” He laughed before slipping away behind a building. 

She watched him disappear, waiting for that itch to start deep inside, alerting her that it was time to run... but it didn’t. She returned her weapons back where they belonged. Finishing with a flip of her dagger, and slipping it into the sheath with practiced ease. She let out a deep exhale as she closed her eyes, allowing the weight of her weapons to recenter her. 

Daryl tried not to watch, wanting to give her a moment to herself, knowing firsthand how vulnerable giving up her weapons would’ve made her feel. He also knew the comfort and calm that came from getting them back, like having a limb magically grow back or something. 

He took a few steps away from the main building and glanced back, "You comin'?" He all but growled, glancing at her through his mess of hair, pushing away his empathetic thoughts. 

She looked back to where Tonkin had disappeared, then back to Daryl. She took a step towards him, her movement giving him his answer, and when he turned to lead her further into the unknown, she couldn’t fight how her eyebrow cocked at the faded angel wings on his vest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what’s so funny about those angel wings??
> 
> **Rubs hands together**
> 
> Cue “Into the unknown” from frozen...
> 
> Guys, our favorite grey-haired boss bitch is cooommmmiinngg!
> 
> Remember, comments fuel the flame 😘 🔥 !


	3. Time to Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well hey there Carol!
> 
> We establish that’s there’s a whole shit ton of unspoken and unresolved issues for poor, socially awkward Q.
> 
> Daryl can’t seem to fight the draw to her.

The door clicked open and the first thing she noticed was the smell. It wasn’t necessarily bad, just unfamiliar... like stale carpet and rosemary. Odd mix.

“You'll be here." Carol said, walking inside, Q trailing behind her. Daryl stood against the doorway, taking up his post as watchdog, keeping an eye on things.

"Sheets are in the closet, along with a towel and some soap. I had them go ahead and bring you some water from the well to clean up, but if you need more I'll show you where it is." She finished her instructions with the nonchalance of someone who’d said it a thousand times before, punctuated with her hands on her hips.

Q looked around the small room, assuming it must’ve been an office before. There was a twin bed with a nightstand in the corner of the far wall, a standing closet to the left and along the right side of the room there was a small desk with a chair. It was the cleanest thing she'd seen in years. That’s when she felt the strange pull of insecurity in her gut, like she should’ve removed her boots or something before coming in. She relaxed slightly when she spotted the water bucket sitting on the desk, along with a small rag and mirror.

She moved to the window, satisfied to find that it wasn’t sealed shut. They were on the second floor, so as she glanced down she made the mental note of the layout and shrubs below. The jump would hurt like a bitch, but she’d survive. Taking what comfort she could in her contingency plan, she turned back to the two strangers who were watching her very intently.

A young voice came from behind Daryl. "Miss Carol?! I found some clean clothes that should fit our..." She entered the room, distracted by Daryl who mussed her hair up with a quick wave of his hand. Letting out a ‘stooop’ she blushed, then turned her attention to Q, freezing a in place. "... Guest..." She managed to blurt out after a long pause, her voice wavering a bit.

Carol rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide the endearment she had towards the child. “Right, thank you Lily." She said, taking the clothes from her arms and laying them on the bed.

Lily’s feet had apparently adhered to the floor since she hadn’t budged from her initial position, her hair still slightly askew.

After another long pause, Carol urged her again, this time with a little more bite, “Lily, you can go now..."

Daryl let out a tight whistle and Lily blinked like she’d been hit with cold water. 

"Huh? Oh, ya. Sorry, I just... Your tattoos... They're really cool... " she pointed at Q's arm, "That tiger looks like Shiva!" She said excitedly.

Q figured the girl must be 8 or so? She wasn't the best at gauging ages any more... Not sure how to respond, Q just observed the girl, quickly realizing just how out of practice she was when it came to socializing... allowing an awkward silence to fill the room. 

‘It’s just a fucking kid, say something...’ she growled in her head, perhaps letting it verbalize more than she intended, since the kid let out a small squeak.

"Lil’." Daryl broke his silence, grabbing the girl’s attention.

"What? Huh?" She said, finally looking away from the Shiva looking tattoo, blushing again.

"Go help with the dinner." Carol dismissed her firmly with a nod towards the door, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Oh. Right. Uhm... Bye!" She smiled and ran out of the room, almost barreling into Daryl in the process.

Carol sighed, “Most of the people in here haven't spent much time out there, if any...” Carol adjusted the clothes on the bed, eyeing a hideous oversized shirt and removing it from the pile, shaking her head. "They don't know what it's like. And truthfully, they have no clue how to handle us when we enter their world."

Q shifted her footing, her gaze shifting to Carol. “Ya, The Kingdom....” she motioned with her hand, “... It's a bubble. And King Ezekiel does a good job of shielding them from it all. It’s safe. Which can be good and bad. Kids get to be kids, grow up less afraid and we all get to sleep a little better at night... but, too much complacency can make you weak."

Daryl nodded in agreement behind her, chewing at his thumb while Carol spoke, glancing at her occasionally through his hair. Q looked at him and back at Carol, trying to piece together their history.

As if reading her mind, Carol sat on the edge of the bed and continued, "Daryl and I... our group... our family... we go back to the beginning. We’ve spent a lot of time in the real world... We've all lost a lot of people that were very important to us..." She paused to compose herself, glancing at Daryl, knowing that the loss of Sophia and his loss of Beth, along with countless others, still haunts them both. She turned back to Q.

"It's not easy, but we have to do more than just survive. We have to live. Otherwise, what's the point? We owe it to the people we couldn’t save."

Q stood stoically, taking in Carol's words, feeling uncomfortable when a long lost emotion stirred deep inside. She steadied herself, breaking her focus on Carol to look out the window.

With that, Carol stood up, holding the shirt she had removed from the stack of clothes, "For all of our sakes, I'm just going to burn this one." She said with a smirk. Daryl scoffed from behind her.

She turned and faced him. "You need to clean up too pookie, you're disgusting." She said smiling at him and tussling his hair. "This needs to go."

"Knock it off." He said moving out of her reach and batting her hand away.

As she left the room she yelled back over her shoulder, "I'll come get you when it's time to eat!"

Daryl stood in the doorway, not sure if he should say something or just leave. Q knew he was lingering, she could feel him watching her, but until she was confident that she’d locked up her emotions, she would keep her eyes focused out the window. Silently mapping the community to memory, as she felt herself slowly regain control. When she finally looked to the doorway, her eyes locked on his and she felt the urge to fight, to run and to freeze flood her all at once.

They stared at each other for a moment, neither one moving or looking away. He could barely see the green of her eyes as they were almost completely blacked out, the feral animal deep inside fighting to take control and the need to survive beginning to consume her.

A loud crash drew their attentions to the hallway where Lily came bounding down the corridor, passing the room in a flurry of arms and legs, laughing as she flew through another set of doors at the opposite end, two girls trailing right behind her.

Daryl smirked and looked back to Q, who’s shoulders had lowered slightly. The distraction having given her brain a moment to reset. Sensing the shift in her, Daryl gave a slight nod and closed the door behind him as he left.

****  
He stood outside her door for a minute... Not able to shake that look in her eyes... the familiarity from his own reflection haunting him. As he walked back to his room, he couldn't help but think of Beth.

It had been 3 years since Atlanta. Since he’d lost her... found her... then fucking lost her again. It was something he’d dealt with in pieces over the years, with Carol's help. She was the one who finally got through to him, the one who always got through to him in the end... She was, and always would be, his family.

He hadn’t realized how much he’d needed someone to help him remember Beth, what she brought out in him, without judgment or criticism until they’d finally reached a peace between the communities. Her words played in his mind, creeping in like a song he couldn’t forget, "There are still good people in the world." She had been right, and that's what he’d fought for every day.

Q had obviously been through some serious shit, the visible scars told him that much, but he found himself trying to imagine what had happened to her. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for his mind to go to a dark place. After what he'd seen and experienced first hand, he could imagine some fucked up things.

With the good people in the world, there would always be the bad. This new world had brought the scum of the earth to the surface, and it was something he could never forget. It was part of his fight, the purpose he’d needed to make it all worth it. To help the good people out there and protect them from the bad.

If he was being honest with himself, Q didn't look like she needed much protection. He rubbed his chest at the memory, after that knee he’d taken he was felt confident she could handle herself in a scuffle. 'Damn.' He'd definitely have a bruise.

He got cleaned up pretty quickly, most of the gore had landed on his clothes so it was easy enough to remove with a change of clothes. He washed the sweat and dirt from his face and neck with a small towel and water he had by his bed, hoping it would be good enough to keep Carol off of his case. He rolled his eyes, thinking about what a nag she could be, but it held no heat, because he smirked at the fact that she still gave a shit.

****  
Q didn't move after the door closed. Fight or flight still racking her body. Something about the way he looked at her... Like he could see through her... It was unnerving. She took a deep breath and removed her pack, placing it on the bed. Deciding to take advantage of what she had in front of her, she made her way to the desk to clean up.

Scrubbing the dirt and gore from her skin, she was able to see her scars more clearly, pausing as she remembered each one... each beating... each reminder of a life. She raised her shirt, running the wet rag over the small scarred lines that had long since healed.

Even with the painful memories, it was nice to remove the harsh world from her skin. It had been weeks since she had been able to bathe in the river, a luxury she rarely allowed herself while surviving on her own.

She ran her fingers over the tattoo of the tiger on her forearm. She’d gotten it on a drunken bet. Not one of her better life choices, but it was beautiful to look at. And she had to admit that it had led her here, which, for now, was a good thing.

When she caught the reflection in the small mirror, she hardly recognized the feral woman looking back at her. The freckles, eyebrow ring and slight bump of her nose were all familiar... But deep in her green eyes a stranger stared back. 

As she picked through the clothes on the bed, she brought them to her nose, the smell of real soap was almost overwhelming. Memories of past lives were fighting to take center stage. She pulled out some items that looked like they’d fit. Both in size and practically. Long gone were the days of fashion for the sake of fashion... everything you wore was essential, everything had a purpose. Knowing her jeans were pretty much toast (there's only so much blood and gore you can get out without chemicals), she was relieved to find another pair in the stack. The cotton/spandex blend was a size too big, but her belt would solve that problem. Grateful for whatever dead asshole invented spandex, and it’s eventual inclusion in jeans, she tested the mobility of her selection. Content that they would suffice, she grabbed the sports bra and a shirt from the pile, pulling them over her head.

She shoved the small bound item back in her pocket, settled her weapons back into their place and stuffed a few extra clean shirts and socks into her pack. Just in case.

She was re-lacing her boots when she heard a knock on the door. It clicked open, jumping to her feet, she unsheathed her dagger...

"Well it was 50/50, but I'm glad to see your still here." Carol said cautiously as she made her way into the room with her hands out, showing that she was unarmed. Q remained at the ready, but Carol let out a chuckle and closed the door behind her.

They watched each other in silence for a moment. Carol was relaxed and casual, arms crossed her chest, having already decided that Q was probably not going to attack her unprovoked based on their earlier interaction.

"Oh, I brought you some jerky, one of the ladies in the kitchen made it from a deer Daryl brought back a few days ago." She reached into her back pocket slowly and removed a bandana that contained a few strips of jerky.

"I'll put this here, in case you get hungry.” She said, placing the jerky on the bed. "There should be drinkable water in a bottle under your bed." She said, nodding to the bed as she moved to sit down.

Q never spoke, just watching from the other side of the room, knife still in hand.

"Look. You don't have to talk. I'm not going to force you. I spoke with Tonkin and he filled me in on the events and your... introduction. Sounds like an impressive trap. You'll have to show me how you managed to build a net strong enough to hold those 3.” She laughed.

Q's posture softened slightly. Carol was being careful, but not standoff-ish. She put her knife back in its sheath and remained standing.

"Well, hell, that's something. I'll take it." Carol laughed, appreciating the gesture.

"I also heard you knocked Daryl on his ass. He can take a hit, so you must've hit pretty hard." She beamed at Q.

Q was trying to understand. She hesitated, but had to ask, "You're happy I hit your...” she stumbled for the word, old jargon just seemed obsolete anymore,”...boyfriend?"

"You CAN talk! Ha, and no, not my boyfriend. But, thanks for thinking I could get me one that young.” She winked at Q.

"No, Daryl is my... Well friend doesn't really cover it, surrogate son sounds creepy... Let's just say, he's my family."

Q nodded, she understood how that happened these days, it wasn't unusual for these odd family units to form.

"Tonkin said it looked like you had been living in that barn for a while. Judging by your clothes, supplies... I'd say 6 months or so?"

Q let out a scoff. How did she guess that so accurately? She nodded as Carol smiled to herself.

"I've got a knack for that. How long have you been on your own?"

Q paused, not sure if she wanted to answer that. It was complicated... And painful. Seeing the conflict in her expression, Carol offered her a lifeline. "Easier question... Were you living in that barn by yourself that whole time?"

Q nodded slowly. She wasn't pushing for too much, certainly accepting the limited details Q was providing. It was appreciated.

"Ok then. Another easy question... Q... Interesting name...” Q tensed, “Did you meet Shiva?" Q's eyes lit up briefly at the memory of the tiger. She glanced at the door and back at Carol.

"Pretty crazy huh? Ezekiel, I mean King Ezekiel... He's a good man. The way he talks takes some getting used to... But he actually is a good leader. Cares about The Kingdom and its people."

She paused, reading Q's body language again. She had brought her hand back to her dagger, adjusting her stance, getting ancy with every passing moment. Carol smiled.

"I know that dance. Don't worry, you're not a prisoner, you can leave whenever you want. Explore The Kingdom. Just try not to pull a knife on anyone."

Q eased slightly at the thought of not being held captive... although she wasn't sure that what waited for her outside of the walls was worth leaving for just yet.

"I tell you what," Carol stood from the bed and made her way to the door, "I'll be outside here when you're ready to come out. Dinner is in an hour, but just take your time. I'll show you around when you come out." She gave Q an empathetic smile as she left the room, closing the door.

Q let out a deep breath. Knowing that she wouldn't learn anything new about this community from inside the room, she added the jerky and water to her pack and put it on. Just in case. She caught herself in the mirror again, shook her head and moved to the door.

****  
Daryl was standing in the hall when Carol came out. He had seen her go in a few minutes before and decided to stick around in case things went south. Q was unpredictable and he needed to be sure nothing happened to Carol. He reassured himself that that was the only reason...

Carol saw him and walked over, glancing back at the door occasionally.

"Well. That's better. You clean up nice." She adjusted his shirt slightly. He rolled his eyes at her.  
"There's a lot going on in that one. Not exactly a talker... She's been alone for at least the last 6 months." Carol shook her head. Daryl nodded slightly, biting his finger while watching the door.

"Thought you were my boyfriend." She laughed.

"Stop it." He scoffed.

"She did. After I told her how impressed I was that she knocked you on your ass."

Daryl let out a Pfft noise of dismissal, "Caught me off guard is all, won't happen again."

"Mmhmm. We'll see about that." Carol became suddenly solemn, "Did you notice the scars?" 

Daryl nodded. So similar to his own, there was no way he could miss it.

"Tonkin told me about the tattoos, mainly the tiger." She laughed. "I'm sure he loved that... "

"Think we can trust her?" Daryl finally asked.

Carol sighed and shrugged slightly while crossing her arms, “She could've hurt me while I was with her just now and she didn't. She saved Tonkin and the others when she could've just left." Daryl grunted in agreement.

She shrugged again, “Actually, she kind of reminds me of you. Well, not this you... But after Atlanta you... That same feral look in her eyes. She's broken. Doesn't mean she can't come back... We both did... But time will tell."

"So that's a no?" Daryl jabbed.

Carol smacked his chest with the back of her hand and took delight when he flinched due to his forming bruise.

"I just mean be careful with that one. Seems more likely to slip out in the night than kill us in our sleep... But, if you corner her... Well... let's just try to avoid that, huh?" She patted him on the shoulder.

"Mmhmm." Daryl growled.

They heard the door click as Q stepped into the hall. Carol smiled and started towards her. Daryl couldn't help but notice that the change of clothes showed more of her form. She was thinner than he expected, probably surviving on very little food when she was alone. He felt the unwarranted guilt hit in the pit of his stomach. She was beautiful, he couldn't ignore that, he had eyes for fucks sake. As Carol spoke quietly to her, Daryl slowly made his way to them. Careful not to startle her and elicit another hit.

Q looked up at him, her green eyes piercing through his blue. Loaded with an intensity that he felt through his entire body. He cleared his throat, trying to shake off the vulnerability mounting in his stomach.

"Daryl, I was going to show Q more of The Kingdom before dinner. Care to join?"

"I uh, I gotta check in with Morgan." He responded quickly, gesturing to the door at the end of the hall.

Q adjusted her pack, causing the loose tank she wore to catch on the straps, giving Daryl an eye full of scars on her side before she readjusted her shirt.

"I'll find you after." He said to Carol, then glanced back at Q giving her a slight nod before turning away and made his way down the hall.

"Ok then. Let's go." She said as she and Q headed to the doors in the opposite direction.

Daryl turned around halfway down the hall, walking backwards, he watched Carol and Q leave the building side by side. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew things had just changed in his world. It made him uneasy, but like Carol said, time would tell.


	4. Time to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q settles in... well, tries at least.
> 
> Carol digs for details in her very Carol way...
> 
> We learn some more about Q's past.
> 
> Daryl needs to work on his sneaking skills.
> 
> *******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAY delayed update here, but much love to ProtonBeam for helping shove my ass out of the rut I had burrowed in...
> 
> If you're into SW AU's, her stories are the JAM!! https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtonBeam/
> 
> ******

Three months had passed since she had arrived at The Kingdom. Given her experience, skills, and, quite frankly, to make everyone more comfortable, Q was quickly put into rotation between guard duty and supply runs.

Daryl had stepped in as her mentor of sorts, helping her attempt to acclimate to this new life and showing her the ropes. They had developed a way of communicating with the slightest facial movement or gesture that kept them out of the path of walkers on multiple occasions. Q found she preferred to be in Daryl's silent company than with the incessant chatter of ‘the norms’ at The Kingdom.

That's what Carol had called them the night Q almost lost her shit on Deb, one of the soccer mom types who went on some rant about wanting a fucking toaster... a toaster... some people are surviving on scraps and this lady is gonna ask for a special delivery? Fuck that. Daryl had to practically body check her off the warpath when he caught her making a b-line towards the lady with that ‘eat shit and die’ look in her eyes... the 'norms'... The unburdened minds of people who had briefly, or, as in most cases, had never, had to survive outside of the wall.

About a month later, a 20 something boy thought it’d be funny to try to distract her while she was on guard duty. He quickly learned that she was in fact, even better with her hands then he had suggested she might be. It took two of his friends to manage to free him from the wall she had knifed him to. After they scurried away, she retrieved her knives from the wall, and chuckled at the ripped jeans that had been left behind in a hurry. 

She turned back to find Daryl leaning casually against the side of the adjoining house with a smug look on his face. She didn’t hide the satisfied smirk she knew she was wearing and shrugged. He just shook his head and mumbled, “Guess somebody was gunna have to teach him.” 

“He’ll live.” She threw out casually, resheathing her blades.

“Pfft.” He scoffed back with a grin, uncrossing his arms before sauntering away.

She’d overheard that same asshole propositioning at least 4 other girls since she’d arrived, with zero takers. ‘ _Daryl must’ve been keeping an eye on him_ ,’ she thought to herself.

Apparently the asshole’s mommy was a very vocal woman because not a week later she had received a very emphatic ' _request'_ from Tonkin, and one more official ‘ _command_ ’ from The King himself, not to use people as target practice. While she knew both men were serious, she could see the sparkle in Ezekiel’s eye and the smile he was fighting as he reprimanded her. If it hadn’t been for the crack in his kingly armour she would’ve been pissed about the whole thing.

When she wasn't working, she would often disappear into the woods for days on end to hunt and pick off any walkers that were working their way to The Kingdom.

On more than one occasion she’d come across Daryl’s tracks, she assumed he was probably hunting or scouting. Q never thought much of it though, and when their paths happened to cross, they would share a silent nod of acknowledgement and go their separate ways.

She spent the rest of her free time with Carol. It helped her stay grounded, especially on the days when she felt caged and had to fight the urge to lash out. Carol knew how to survive in both worlds and Q was well aware she would have to learn it as well if she wanted to stay. Carol had also started calling her 'baby girl' about a week into her being there. At first it made her cringe, but it grew on her over time, and honestly, it was enduring to Carol. That, and compared to “pookie” it was a breeze. God help anyone else if they tried to call her that, but people seemed to know better.

When Carol offered her the extra room in her house outside of the settlement, Q didn’t hesitate. They fell into an easy rhythm together. Carol was the only one she'd let in so far, and even then, she only knew the basics:

_She was from Texas originally_

_Q was not her birth name_

_She had been through some shit and had lost a lot_

Carol never pressed her for more details about her past and she wasted no time shutting down anyone who did. Moving in with Carol gave her the support she needed, the freedom and the space to breathe as she tried to move beyond what she had become since the turn... Now she was trying to become a part of something bigger than herself.

Following a rather eventful scouting trip, Carol caught sight of the scars on her torso as she was changing out of her gore-covered shirt. The almost-perfect lines, side by side, stood out amongst the battery of scars on her body. When she traded Q's filthy shirt for a new one, she finally addressed it.

"Don’t you think it's about time you told me about those?” She asked with a kind look in her eyes, but Q just scoffed and made her way around Carol.

"I'm serious Q." She said, grabbing her arm and stopping her in her tracks, "If you don't talk about it, you'll never be free of it."

"I don't deserve to be free of it." Q said, matter of factly.

"You do." Carol replied sternly, motherly almost. Q couldn’t meet her eyes after that, Carol was the only one at this point who could make her feel like she owed the world an answer.

"Carol. Please. I'm asking you not to push this." She said as calmly as she could.

"Someone has to..." Carol let go of Q's arm, "You're a time bomb, baby girl." She gently put her hand on Q's shoulder.

Q took a deep breath, "I know."

It was the most honest answer she could give at that moment and Carol knew how much admitting that had cost her.

"Ok then, that's a start."

***

Another month passed before Carol attempted to bring up her scars again. This time she at least had the sense to bribe Q with food and some cheap wine she'd found.

Q was sitting at the table, eating and trying to rest after a 12 hour guard duty shift when Carol sat across from her. She slid the cookies and the open bottle of wine slowly across the table with a knowing and encouraging look.

She couldn't help but crack a smile at Carol's not so subtle approach. She toyed with a cookie while she considered the offer.

She took a deep breath, "Ok."

Carol took a moment to think of where to start as she sat back in her chair.

"The lines on your side... are they to keep track of something?"

"Yes." She answered, avoiding the stare she could feel from Carol.

"What...?"

Q inhaled sharply. "Lives." She paused. "Lives I took."

It was quiet, only the cicadas broke through the silence. Carol thought through what she said before she continued.

"So you did that? To yourself?"

Q nodded.

"Why?"

"I didn't want to forget. Forget what they did... forget why I killed them. If I still felt the pain from the cut, it meant I wasn't dead yet.” She toyed with the cookie in her hands, “I don't like killing people." She took a deep breath and looked into Carol's eyes, "but some people have to die."

Her eyes dropped down to the cookie in her hand. Watched her fingers as they flipped it back and forth and back again. A self soothing motion to compensate for her anxiety over sharing. Then she looked back into Carol’s eyes.

"...Just didn't want to lose my soul in the process I guess." She finished.

Carol nodded, accepting the information she was being given. She pressed on. "And the other scars?"

Q took a large gulp from the bottle of wine. She stood up and lifted her shirt over her head. Carol could see the scars that covered her torso, including a very crudely stitched scar on her left side. Following Carol's stare she started explaining the pain road map of her past from the beginning.

"That was when I got jumped and beaten in a refugee camp in Texas... It was early on." She said dismissively as she took another swig from the bottle. Carol sat there, with empathetic eyes, letting Q reveal whatever she was willing to in the moment.

"I stayed away from large groups after that... these came about a year or so after that, " she said, sitting back down while motioning to the scars that covered her back and the few on her arms.

"I was looking…” she stopped herself, shifting slightly in her seat before continuing, “I had made it to an area North of Houston... when I got there I found..." She took another drink and shook her head as she stared blankly ahead, clearly reliving a memory. She coughed and snapped herself out of it.

"I stayed in a house until some people wandered in... they... I tried to fight... but I wasn't strong enough then," another swig, "... three men and a woman. They took over. Used me for whatever they wanted." She sat back down, finishing off the bottle.

"I spent most of the time tied up... They did what they wanted... And when I would fight back, they'd punish me." She gestured to her back, while leaning forward resting her face in her hands. She wiped her hands down her face, as if trying to clean the memory away.

"How did you escape?"

Q took a deep inhale and leaned back, allowing herself a moment to gather her thoughts then exhaled slowly, rubbing her hands across her thighs.

"After a while, I just stopped fighting... so, they stopped tying me up as tight. Thought they broke me... I guess in a way they did…” a wry smile formed, “one night they just forgot to tie me back up when they were done... so after a couple of hours, I got up. I jammed all the doors, any way I could... took whatever chemicals I could find and poured them all over the first floor. I packed a bag and lit a match on my way out... that's how I got my first 4." She finished with an almost callous certainty that Carol knew all too well.

"Are you sure they didn't survive? Maybe they got... "

Q cut her off, "no. I waited. I waited until they stopped screaming... I waited until the walkers came."

They both went quiet as Q worked her shirt back on.

She stared off into the distance, "I think that's enough sharing for tonight..."

She stood from the table, "'Night Carol."

As she passed, heading to her room, Carol grabbed her hand. Without looking at each other, she squeezed. Q squeezed back and made her way to her room.

Carol sat there in shock for a minute. Wiping away a tear that forced its way out. She exhaled deeply, trying to process everything she had just learned.

"How much did you hear?" She asked to the dark kitchen in front of her.

"'Nuff," Daryl grunted as he walked into the light.

"It's worse than I thought... than we thought." She took a deep breath and stood from the table, leading Daryl outside.

"She's still in there, but after what she's been through..." Carol sighed, pushing her hands into her back pockets.

"She can come back. Or least live again," Daryl said, kicking the dirt in front of him.

"How has she been doing?"

"Still hunts 'em... Less now then at first."

"I heard she ran into you again out in the woods..." Carol raised her eyebrow questioningly at him.

"Ya... She's good." He said with a small grin, "quick. Sometimes _too_ quick. Don't think she suspects anything tho'."

"Keep watching her. Ezekiel is getting concerned that she's not stable enough to be inside The Kingdom. Though, she seems happy enough here... "

He nodded, "well who wouldn't be? You pushin' cookies and booze like that."

She laughed, "hey it worked didn't it? Most she's said the entire time she's been with me."

"When are you gunna tell her?"

"I need her to get all of this out in the air first. It's weighing her down. She told me about 4... There are at least another 10... "

"15," he said definitively.

"I didn't realize you were keeping THAT close of an eye on her." She joked.

"Stop," he shrugged, "dunno, just somethin' I have to do."

"Have to? Or want to? Pretty sure I just asked you to make sure she didn't kill anyone. Need I remind you of the toaster incident?”

He let out a low growl and headed towards the walls of The Kingdom, "’Night."

"Night pookie," she smiled knowingly.

He half waved back at her. Lighting a cigarette for the walk back.

***

As Daryl took the long walk back to The Kingdom, his mind was racing.

' _Fuck. It was worse than I expected. She was covered... My old man beat me but no one ever... They wouldn't've tried. But damn... She burned it down..._ '

He took a slow drag from his cigarette, eyes ever watchful for threats, dead or alive, when he felt the pang of guilt hit him.

' _Should've said something when she took her shirt off... If I could've then I would've... But damn..._ ' He thought, remembering her without her shirt.

' _Knock it off man_ ,' he took a deep drag... ' _After everythin' she said... How could you?_ ’ He smirked to himself, ‘ _I'm human, I've got fuckin' eyes_.'

He shook his head.

' _Don't push it Dixon. If she knew you were there... you’d have a few more scars of your own_.'

He chuckled. The thought of Carol trying to step in between them if it had come to that... he wasn't sure who would’ve won that fight.

' _Carol’s protective of her... I get it... God help Ezekiel if he tries to send her away. He'll have to answer to Carol... fuck, and me_.'

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comments give life :D


	5. Time to Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q feels things, Daryl gets mad, these dumb dumbs need to communicate better.

Q was washing the dishes in the kitchen when Daryl walked in. Surprised to be able to see most of her back in the low cut shirt, he stopped in his tracks. He remembered what she had told Carol the night before, how she had gotten those scars...

Q turned her head and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Problem?"

He grunted a "nu-uh" and swore she smiled, however briefly, as she turned back to the dishes.

Daryl walked into the kitchen and popped himself up on the counter, picking at some leftover bread sitting out.

"Carol’s not here."

"I know," he said through the food in his mouth. They went silent again, Q switched to drying the dishes she had just cleaned. She turned to face Daryl.

They just looked at each other, Q trying to read his eyes... then she finally realized why he was there.

Unshaken, she spoke, "how much did you hear?"

He shrugged, looking down at his boots hanging from the counter.

"That much, huh... and how much did you see?" She crossed her arms, feeling her tension rise.

He looked up at her this time, meeting her gaze. His eyes said everything. He had _seen_ her.

She sneered. "What? Feelin’ sorry for me now?" She asked sharply, the feral animal inside riling up, ready to fight the vulnerability she felt coming.

Daryl didn't move, he knew this dance. Having been on the giving end before, he knew it was best to stay still and say as little as possible.

"No," he shook his head.

"Then what? Worried I'll hurt Carol?" Silence… her shoulders dropped at the unspoken accusation.

"I wouldn't do that... What, you keepin’ an eye on me now?" her voice raising as she shoved the plate she had been drying onto the shelf with a loud thud.

Daryl didn't answer, waiting for her to get it all out. Q looked at him again and understood.

"You've _been_ watching me... Haven't you?"

He didn’t move a muscle.

"In the woods? _Here_?"

He just looked down.

"What the _FUCK_ Dixon?! I thought..." she scoffed as she was reaching a fever pitch... "I thought you understood. Somehow... that we understood each other... FUCK!"

She started to pace, her frustration palatable.

"What about Carol? Does _she_ know you've been watching me like a fucking hawk?"

He didn't move his gaze.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, " _wow_ . _Sonofabitch_ , Of course she does... She asked you to, right?" The feeling of betrayal was filling her to the brim.

He finally looked up and met her glare. He looked apologetic, guilty even, that she had figured it out without him saying a word.

"Fuck you,” she spat at him.

She threw the towel down and headed to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Q," he gruffly called after her, sliding off the counter to follow.

He hesitated outside her door, before letting out a low growl and pushing it open. She was packing her bag.

"What are you doin'?"

She scoffed and continued sorting out her accumulated possessions.

"Where ya gonna go, huh? Back out _there_? You ain’t gonna make it if you go back."

"I made it on my own before, I can do it again."

"That ain’t what I meant..." he said as he stepped forward.

She stopped thrashing around and looked at him.

"Worried for my _soul_ Dixon? Don't be. I lost it a long time ago."

"Not from where I'm standin'."

"You think you _know_ ? Think you fuckin’ _understand_? Yeah, sure, maybe there was a moment, a brief fucking moment where I thought you might, but now…” she turned cold, stoic, “You don't know shit." She grabbed her pack, pushing past him and out the front door.

Daryl chased after her, "you think you’re the only one who's lost people? Only one who had some fucked-up evil shit done to ‘em?" He growled, not losing step with her.

"Fuck off," she snarled back.

"No!" He rounded in front of her, forcing her to stop, "I wanna hear it, hear the fuck’s so bad that you gotta go runnin' off when someone asks ya a simple question."

"Move." She plants herself firmly, ready to make him.

"No,” he challenges.

Q threw a right cross, but Daryl saw it coming. Catching her arm he swung her back into his chest, pinning her arms across her front. Q threw her head back, smacking him in the nose with a loud _THWACK_. 

Letting out a guttural curse, Daryl dropped her and wiped the trickle of blood from his face with the back of his sleeve.

They stared at each other, both catching their breath. Daryl paced a small back and forth path, occasionally checking to see if the blood was still running.

He finally stopped, spitting a bit of blood into the road, then peered up at her through his hair, "ya feel better now?"

She let out a small chuckle, "actually... Ya."

He let out a scoff, holding his nose up, still trying to stop the bleeding.

"Is it broken?" Surprised at the concerned tone that came out.

"Nah. It'll be fine."

The bloodshed had broken the moment and Q felt her irrational rage slowly subsiding.

"Fuck, Dixon,” She was exhausted, the adrenaline of the past few minutes starting to fade away. She ran her hands down her face, “why, _why_ do you care? Carol I get, she lost a daughter, but you... _Why_?"

He wasn't completely sure... he tried to answer but he couldn’t think straight with the flustered feeling building in his stomach. Instead, he settled for a shrug.

"Right." Q responded.

She stood there, looking at her surroundings, thinking about what she wanted to do. If she was being honest with herself, it really wasn't any better out there on her own... And hell, she'd just busted Daryl's nose and he wasn't even pissed... She guessed maybe he did understand, at least on some level.

She let out a loud exhale and turned around, heading back to Carol's house. He stayed a few paces behind her, still trying to grapple with the feelings that were lingering in his gut. 

"No more bullshit Dixon," she said as she stopped on the porch.

He’d almost walked right into her when she turned to face him. They stood a foot apart, saying nothing for a moment.

"No more. You wanna know something, you ask me."

He nodded.

"You don't have to worry about Carol. I’d never hurt her..."

He nodded again, knowing she was telling the truth.

"Look, you don't need to protect her or anyone else at The Kingdom... from me. I’m not a fuckin’ idiot, I know Ezekiel doesn’t..."

"I ain’t." He cut her off.

“What?”

“Protectin’ anyone from you.”

"Then _why_ are you still here?" 

He thought for a minute and realized the best answer was the honest one, "You."

Frustrated, she snapped back, "Dixon, I told you, I would _never_ hurt her..." Daryl cut her off by stepping closer, instinct driving his movements.

"Not Carol." He said without breaking his eye contact.

Her stomach dropped as she realized what he meant, "Huh." Was all she could verbalize.

"Ok." She turned and went inside, leaving Daryl with his thoughts at the door.

***

' _What the shit just happened?’_

Returning to her room, Q’s mind was racing as she unpacked her few belongings.

_‘‘Not Carol’?’_

She couldn’t help but glance back to the door, like seeing it would somehow give her clarity.

_‘Is he protecting me? From what? Why?_ '

Strange emotions were slowly filling her stomach. Things that she hadn’t felt for years… confused, flustered, embarrassed… excited even? Trying to decipher the overwhelming jumble was useless so she shook her head, hoping the physical act would clear her mind. She found herself even more frustrated when it didn’t.

Removing her weapons, she sat at the edge of the bed. She picked up her knife, toying with it, attempting to channel the nervous energy into the blade, then took a deep breath.

‘ _Maybe I read him wrong…_ ’ 

No, she knew. Somehow, she knew. She thought back over her time here, his attention to her, the way he just seemed to understand her without needing an explanation, and how exposed she always felt when she’d catch his eyes. As it became clearer, a smile worked its way to the corner of her mouth as a wave of nerves flew through her stomach. 

Looking down at the knife in her hands, she felt a cold wave sweep over her. Everything she'd been through... who she’d lost... and everyone she'd killed... if he knew all of it, would he still feel the need to protect her? Would he still give a shit about her?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! We're building to some smut stuff sooooooon...ish.
> 
> Comments are appreciated!!
> 
> ***


	6. Time to Decide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family dinners can be illuminating, amirite?
> 
> Some feels, things heat up, Carol steps in it, Daryl broods.
> 
> Oh, and Carl's timing sucks.
> 
> ****

A few days later, Carol made her monthly "family" meal. Morgan, Rick, Judith, Michonne and Carl had all made the trip in from Alexandria for the evening. Daryl arrived shortly after them, giving hugs and greetings to his family.

Q was in the kitchen with Carol, pulling together the dishes and utensils they'd need from their designated homes. She turned quickly, almost dropping the stack as she ran into Daryl who had made his way into the room without making a sound.

"Shit! Dixon. Wear a bell or somethin’." She smiled softly. Daryl realized this was the first time she had actually really smiled... for everyone to see. Not that they noticed, they were all chatting and laughing amongst themselves. If he hadn't known better he would've thought there were thirty people in that house.

He scoffed and stepped out of her way, moving towards Carol with a grin on his face. She glanced up at him with that knowing Carol look.

"What?"

"Nothing" she said with a smile.

"Mmhmmm." He grabbed a few green beans from the bowl she was working from. She slapped his hand away, "wait for dinner! And go wash your hands, they're filthy." He licked his fingers clean in her face, she groaned and pushed him towards the door.

After he’d cleaned his hands at the water pump he heard a scraping noise coming from a few feet away. Pulling out his knife, he made his way to the edge of the house, preparing to take out whatever walker had managed to get so close.

He rounded the corner of the house and stopped, almost running into Q climbing up onto the roof of the shed.

"Shit girl!” He growled, “Maybe  _ you _ need the bell..." he said, putting his knife back in its sheath. She scoffed at him.

"What'r you doin' out here?"

"Needed some air." She laid back on the roof, looking at the stars.

Daryl climbed up and laid next to her, knowing full well what she meant by ‘get some air.’

"They mean well," he tried to reassure her.

"I know. But, they're your family, Carol's family... " she shook her head slightly.

Silence fell between them, this time it was a comfortable silence. He knew she wanted to say something, but wasn't about to push her. So they just looked up at the stars until she finally spoke again.

"I had a family... before all of this..." She inhaled sharply, "It was a different life. It hurts... hurts to think about."

Daryl turned his head to face her, she felt his gaze but couldn't face him. She wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

She turned to him. "Well. We've all lost people right?" She said half jokingly, throwing his words from the other day back at him.

He scoffed, "ya. Some more than others I guess."

They sat in a comfortable silence, just enjoying the night and the company.

"We should get inside before Carol loses her shit." She said sitting back up. Daryl followed suit and jumped down from the roof. He turned to help her down only to see that she was already landing on the ground next to him. He smiled and shook his head.

"What? I'm no damsel Dixon. I can handle my own."

"I know." He said, his gaze intensifying as his blue eyes pierced through her green ones.

He took a step towards her and she shifted back. He stopped, trying to read her eyes. She let out a breath, and he saw her relax slightly as she stepped towards him.

"You gonna hit me again?" He said in a low, gravely tone.

"Depends."

"On?"

"What you do next." She smiled a soft smile, her eyes telling him everything he needed to know.

' _ Fuck it. _ ' He thought.

Daryl stepped into her and grabbed her by the waist, his face hovering for just a moment before descending. She melted into him as he kissed her. It came over them like a tidal wave... like they couldn't kiss each either deep enough, hard enough, like two teenagers so raw and unpracticed. Hands roaming, holding on to whatever they could. Daryl pushed her back against the shed, taking her breath away, he kissed his way down her neck. Her hands in his hair, taking in every movement he made. She felt her pulse quicken, pulling his face back to hers. She turned them around, pushing him against the shed with a thud. He let out a breathy laugh, enjoying the exchange of power. Pulling her in, one hand behind her head, the other on her ass, he kissed her slowly.

Q pulled back, smiling she teased him with her lips, almost kissing him but pulling away as he leaned in. He let out a frustrated, gravely moan. Finally she gave him what he wanted, leaning into him, she felt his arousal on her leg and she couldn't help but feel smug.

They stopped for a moment, catching their breath, their eyes never breaking contact.

Daryl realized right then that things would never be the same.

****

At dinner they sat next to each other, which was not unusual given the dynamics of the group. Carol was eyeing the two like teenagers up to no good. She could sense something was going on, given the disheveled entrance Q had made, followed shortly by Daryl from the opposite direction. She grinned to herself at the truth she had expected for some time.

They had been torn away from the heat of the moment by Carl getting water at the pump. She had bolted first, making her way around the front of the cabin, trying to pull herself together after getting so carried away. Daryl tried to play off his arousal, adjusting his pants and lighting a cigarette. He casually came around the back of the cabin, sure to make his presence known so Carl wouldn’t shoot.

Now they sat knees grazing under the table, just enough physical contact to tease the other without anyone noticing. Every brush against the other sent shock waves through them both. Sharing subtle glances, confirming that what they had both just experienced was in fact real.

Neither said much at dinner, which was also not unusual. Q was especially thankful for this because she thought if she looked up she might give away what had happened between her and Daryl. No one seemed to notice that she could tell... except, she assumed, Carol.

As Rick told an animated story about the run he and Michonne had gone on that day, Q felt Daryl's hand touch her leg. She flinched out of instinct and Daryl immediately recoiled, bumping the table as he retreated. He coughed to cover the blunder and adjusted himself in his seat. Q let out a quick laugh, covering her mouth to try and stifle it.

At this point the other conversations had ceased and all eyes were on Q and Daryl, who was turning red from embarrassment. Finally, with his head down, he turned his face to Q and couldn't help but laugh. She was turning red now too, blotches appearing on her neck.

Neither one were fans of being the center of attention, especially when the topic was something they didn't want to share. Carol seemed to pick up on this, as she practically yelled, "Who wants dessert?!" Everyone jumped at the offer and the conversations continued as if they were never interrupted.

"Q, will you come help?"

She nodded and before she stood, she reached under the table and squeezed Daryl's leg. He grinned ever so slightly as she walked away. He couldn't help but watch her from the corner of his eye.

***

"So. Time to share?" Carol asked as she carved the pie.

Q looked at her and shook her head, trying not to be the open book she knew she was. Instead she focused extremely hard on making sure each slice was positioned perfectly on each plate.

"Q... "

"There's nothin’ to share, Carol," she said, matter of factly.

"Look... Just. Be careful."

Q's stomach fell, stopping her in her tracks, her brows furrowing slightly.

"He may act tough but inside he's got a big heart. Just... be sure before you start anything."

"Be sure of what?"

"That you're staying." She left the room to deliver the pie slices to the group.

Q was surprised... It wasn't the conversation or reaction she was expecting from Carol... if she had really been expecting anything at all. Daryl was a grown ass man... He made the first move... but maybe she was right, maybe she saw something in her that she didn't want to. Q had been very careful not to become too attached to anyone since she arrived. She didn't want to go through losing the people she cared for again. ‘ _ If you don't make connections, then you can't be broken when they're taken from you. _ ’ Self preservation at its finest.

Her mind was racing, so much so that she didn't hear Daryl come up next to her to grab the remaining plates.

"You alright?" He asked, concern in his voice.

She shook her head slightly, no smile coming to her face despite the longing she felt through her whole body. She was filled with a mix of guilt, shame and fear. A complicated combination that wouldn't do well to be bottled up. She had gotten carried away, caught up in something nice and passionate and... normal. She just wasn't sure she could  _ do _ normal anymore.

Carol was right... She needed to decide. Decide if this place was a temporary thing... or something more. It was too much to process.

Daryl lingered, eyeing her carefully, trying to understand what had just happened, "she say somethin' to you?"

Q let out a deep sigh, chewing the inside of her lip she grabbed the last 2 plates from the counter and went back to the table, without even sparing him a glance.

The rest of dinner was quiet for the two, even by their standards. The family carried on with their stories, not acknowledging the change in the room. When they had finished, and Q felt she had put in her time, she started to clear the table, needing some sort of task to distract her mind that was running.

Daryl just watched her, confused, his frustration mounting.

' _ What the hell happened? What the fuck did Carol say? Why ain’t she lookin’ at me?’ _

He snapped out of his thoughts when Rick grabbed his shoulder, "Comin'?"

"Huh?"

"Outside...? Come on." He motioned to the door and begrudgingly, Daryl followed, casting one last frustrated glance at the kitchen.

Rick handed him a bottle, "Found a guy in The Kingdom who started brewing his own beer. Traded a deer for a whole case..." He said, taking a sip.

Daryl sniffed the beer and took a sip, "Think you got the short end of the deal."

Rick laughed, "Maybe. Nice change of pace though."

"Hmph." Daryl continued to drink the beer, although he was pretty sure the alcohol content was higher than any beer he remembered, but it was taking the edge off.

"It's good to roll with the changes... from time to time." Daryl glanced over at Rick, wondering where he was going with this.

"Couldn't help but notice something going on in there... " he was treading very carefully, even if he wasn't being subtle about it.

Daryl glanced back to the door. "'Dunno," he shrugged. If he'd asked him before Carol spoke to Q, maybe he would've had a different answer. But now he honestly wasn't sure.

"Well, it's good. If you are... it's been a long time since... well, since Beth." Daryl tensed slightly. While he had never come out and told his brother about what he’d felt for Beth, Rick knew.

Daryl just kicked the dirt in front of him.

"I'm just sayin’ that if there is something happening there, it would be good. For you." He finished awkwardly.

The two men stood there in silence, Daryl thinking through the events of the evening and debating what to tell Rick... if anything. Whatever had happened before dinner had changed quickly and he didn't understand why. At least not yet.

"Thanks for the beer." Daryl nodded to Rick, obviously meaning so much more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thaaaanks for reading!! Comments are always appreciated :D
> 
> *****


	7. Time to Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q makes a decision.
> 
> Daryl makes some poor choices.
> 
> These dumb dumbs realize a few things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giving’ y’all a two-fer bc the next one is short but it felt weird to include it with this chapter... you’ll understand why later... maybe.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ****

Q paced in her room with the door closed. That old feeling of fight or flight raging through her.

_'I'm broken. Too broken for this... I should just go. She wants me to... that's not what Carol said... She doesn't want me to go... Does she? And Daryl... He... He's..._ '

She smiled, thinking of their brief time together.

' _Something complicated, that's for sure... But he doesn't know. None of them do. If he did... FUCK. I should just go now before I make this worse_.'

She had decided. She packed her bag, then shoved it under the bed. She'd wait until Carol was asleep and then sneak out. She laid down, counting the minutes, mulling over her decision.

' _It's for the best. For her. For him... I had my chance at a life. I'm in too deep now, I let this go too far._ '

She replayed the last few months in her head, her time with Carol, her time with Daryl. He’d just sort of happened over time. She couldn't pinpoint the moment she started to feel more for him... but when he stopped her from leaving... and then tonight, she knew it had been lingering for longer then she wanted to admit. She wanted to keep that, keep the memory of it and go, before she could _really_ fuck it up.

When she was sure the family had left and Carol had gone to bed, she quietly loaded up and crept out of the house. Stopping on the porch she looked around, and felt genuine sadness deep inside. Sad to have to leave a place that could've been home in another life... But that's exactly why she had to go. Dagger at the ready, she headed in the opposite direction of The Kingdom, the full moon lighting her way.

Daryl hadn't left, not yet. He was still replaying the evening in his mind, finishing off the second bottle of beer Rick had given him before he’d left. He knew he could be a dick when he drank, but he didn't care right now. The emotions were gnawing at him, confusion and frustration manifesting itself as anger. That's when he saw her. Fully packed and heading away from The Kingdom.

' _What the fuck? Where's she goin'..._ '

He picked up his crossbow and took off after her, staying just far enough behind her to remain out of sight.

He tracked her for hours before he suddenly lost her. He tried to retrace his steps, looking for hers, but it was hard to see at night, even with the moon.

"Shit," he growled.

"Dixon, what the fuck are you doing?" A disembodied voice asked.

Daryl swung around, looking for the source. Q stepped out from behind a tree, a look of confused exhaustion on her face.

"I should ask you the same thing," he said, with a slight slur.

"I've been tryin’ to shake your ass for the last hour..."

He just stared at her, waiting for more.

"I can't be... I can't do... this. " She was flustered. Flustered that he had followed her, flustered that she couldn't make the clean getaway she was hoping for.

"So what? Ya just gonna leave? No word, nothin’? What about Carol?" He was worked up, voice getting frenzied.

"She knew this would happen. She'll understand," Q shrugged, fighting the urges welling up inside her.

"Nah, fuck that. That's bullshit! What ‘bout... Everything else?"

She suddenly realized why he was being so emotional. "Are you drunk Dixon?"

"So?" He replied stubbornly.

"So?! You've been trackin’ me for fucking hours, at night, DRUNK! Are you fucking stupid?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" The pain in her chest was hard to speak through, the fear of what could've happened to him was overwhelming her common sense.

"You left," He said plainly, as his sad blue eyes stared into hers.

She felt the air leave her lungs, his words pushed her over the edge, she could feel her mask breaking.

"You don't understand. You just don't get it, I can't have this. Any of this!"

"Why?" He asked without breaking his eye contact.

In all of their emotional exchange, they had both forgotten the most important rule of their world. Never forget about the real threat.

A walker crashed through the brush and knocked Daryl over. He was still drunk and fumbling with his knife, trying to pull it from its sheath.

"Daryl!" Q yelled, as she ran to help him. Another walker came from the same opening in the brush, grabbing Q's pack forcing her to fall on her stomach. She managed to unclip it, and the walker pulled it off of her as she rolled to her back and launched her dagger straight into the it's eye socket. Rushing to her feet, she saw Daryl still struggling with the first walker, the flesh and meat peeling from its bones as he tried to push it away. Q grabbed the crossbow Daryl had dropped and shot the walker through the face, cheek to cheek. He pushed the corpse off of himself, panting, and made his way to his feet.

Q was pissed, whisper-yelling, "You are a _FUCKING_ idiot Dixon! That's what I'm talking about, you could've been bit, you could've fucking died! And for what?!" She didn't notice the tears start to fall, the adrenaline from the fight starting to fade, leaving just raw emotion. She collapsed to her knees, losing all strength in her legs.

"Go home Daryl. Just... Go home. Please."

He looked at her, his eyes were intense and filled with passion, and as her eyes met his, she felt it too. Daryl made his way to her, dropping to his knees in front of her.

He put both hands on her face, making sure she didn't break her focus, "Not without you."

She just shook her head, "I'm broken. You don't want this. Trust me."

"You're wrong."

"Psh, you're drunk."

"Not so much now..." He lowered his hands, "Adrenaline has a way of soberin’ ya up real quick."

She laughed, then solemnly said, "Daryl, you could've died followin’ me like that. Please, you can't... Don't do that to me."

He looked her in the eyes. "Ok," he said with a small grin.

Wiping her eyes, she said, "we should keep moving... I'm sure all the noise’ll bring more." She worked her way back to her feet as Daryl did the same.

"Home's that way..." Daryl said, motioning back the way they had come.

"I know. There's a place we can stay tonight, right past that hill. No point wanderin’ back now." She shrugged and pointed up, noticing the clouds rolling in.

Q led them to the barn she had been living in before she came to The Kingdom. Daryl realized pretty quickly where she had taken him, as they separated to be sure the barn was still clear. After they boarded the door and windows, Q untied a hidden rope ladder, which led them to the loft. Daryl followed, pulling the ladder up behind him.

They sat there, sipping water from their supply occasionally glancing at each other.

"Home sweet home huh?"

"Heh, ya somethin’ like that... I lived here for a long time before I met Tonkin... well before they wandered in here and set off my trap." She let out a laugh at the memory.

As she readied her pallet of hay and blankets, she could feel his eyes on her.

"What?" She asked without looking at him.

"Why were you leaving? Carol say somethin’ to you?"

"Nothin’ I hadn't already been thinking."

Daryl moved closer, getting his own pallet ready a couple feet away from hers. He felt his pulse quickening, slight anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

"Meanin’?" He asked calmly as he laid back, putting one arm behind his head.

"I needed to make a decision."

"So you decided to leave?" He felt his chest clench.

"I... Yes." She laid down, just staring at the dilapidated ceiling, still patched from when she had fixed it last winter.

A few minutes passed before he finally broke the silence.

"And everything before dinner... before Carl came out... that was, what? "

"I dunno Dixon, we got carried away. I just forgot for a bit."

He sat up, "forgot what?"

"Everything," she let a breathy laugh out.

"That's bad?" He was genuinely confused.

"In this world? Yeah. That's how people die."

"Pfft, we all die."

"You know what I mean Dixon."

"Stop."

"What?"

" _That_. Shuttin' me out," They were both tense, "you were scared out there, with the walker... You called me Daryl... You never do that."

"Yeah, scared I'd have your blood on my hands too."

"That's bullshit," he growled.

Q sat up and faced him, "what do you want me to say?"

He just sat there, knees up, arms around them. He wasn't about to put words in her mouth, but he knew there was more to all of it.

"This is exhausting. Daryl..." she exhaled, trying to push past the flustered feelings mounting in her chest, "Dixon. I'm leaving. Carol's right, I was always gonna leave."

"Why?"

"Because... because! I just can't lose anyone else. I can't. I won't survive it."

"You ain’t gonna lose us, not that easy at least."

"Fuck, you're probably right... Carol would've made sure of it, I mean, hell, she sent you. Obviously worried I might do somethin’..."

"She didn't send me."

She was actually surprised by this new piece of information.

"Then... why? Why would you be so stupid, goin’ out there, drunk?" If there was something between them she needed him to acknowledge it. At least this once, if she was going to stay, she needed a real reason.

"Obviously wasn't in my right mind."

"That's all, huh?" She was hurt, and really getting over this back and forth shit.

"Yeah. You... I don't think straight when it comes to you." He felt his cheeks flush, looking away, suddenly finding a piece of hay very interesting.

"Oh." Her chest started to pound... She looked at him until he finally looked up from the ground. She felt the tension shift around them, and in that instant she knew, with total clarity, exactly what she wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun da da duuuuuuun: up next... le smut!


	8. Time to Give In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's be real... this entire chapter is just delicious smut, so grab a beverage and enjoy. 
> 
> I regret nothing. 
> 
> ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always a MASSIVE thank you to my constant-proofreader/grammar-fixer/elusive-word-finder @protonbeam 
> 
> ****

A shockwave went through her and before she knew it she had practically tackled him. Both of them were tearing at each other's clothes, sneaking intense kisses between shedding layers. He picked her up, seating her in his lap and she wrapped her legs around him while he kissed her neck.

As she settled on him, she could feel him, the pressure teasing her in just the right spot. He slowly worked his hands up her shirt, unclipping her bra with one hand, while grasping her breast in the other. Eyes locked, she let out a breathy moan as he took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She pulled her shirt over her head, throwing it and her bra aside, insistent on eliminating anything between them.

As he kissed her freshly exposed skin, she closed her eyes, taking in every moment, every touch. She pulled his shirt over his head and he pulled her chest to chest, mouths lightly touching, she smiled.

The loud thunder clap meant the storm was rolling in, but locked safely inside, Daryl and Q had barely noticed the weather changing. Daryl had picked her up and put her on her back, fully exposing her breasts and scars. Stopping, his breath caught as he leaned back, looking over her body. Q began to worry that seeing all of her might have ruined the moment. But as quickly as the thought entered her head, it was erased by Daryl's lips landing on each scar with such care, as if he could make them disappear so easily. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispered, more to himself than to her.

Q started to undo her jeans, working them off with his help, after tugging her boots off hastily. She was left there, in just her underwear, the last barrier between them and the point of no return. She wasn't nervous, or thinking of the torment she had endured so long ago... she was so taken by his own rugged beauty that she had forgotten her own past.

She propped herself up on her elbows, unzipped his pants pulling his underwear off with them. His arousal was clear and she felt the longing to feel him inside her. She looked up at him and smiled again, he returned the grin and laid her back down, far more gently this time. He kissed her lips, then worked his way down her chest, stopping at each breast to explore, lingering when she would moan.

Eventually he made his way to her panty line, teasing it with his tongue. He looked up at her, their eyes meeting, both sharing that same feral passion. He removed them with ease and brought his hand to her, feeling her warmth while tracing the lines to her clit. She let out a low moan and the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "Fuck..." was all that she could manage to say.

He smiled as his lips found hers. She kissed him deeply, tongues almost fighting, unable to get enough of each other. As she grabbed his hair with one hand, she reached down, taking him in hand. He let out a gasped moan, and she began to move her hand up and down, taking pleasure in his reaction. "Fuck..." he whispered to himself and she smiled.

She moved her hand to his back and felt him tense slightly at the feeling of her hands on his own scars, he looked into her eyes and the tension faded. Grabbing his firm ass, she pulled him closer.

"I need you..." she whispered. With that permission, he found her entrance and slowly let her warm center engulf him. They both moaned as he thrusted back and forth, slow and deep at first, allowing himself to bottom out completely before repeating the motion. He moved one hand down, rubbing her clit as she moved with him, each thrust pushing her closer.

She was overwhelmed, the complex wave of pleasure and safety, of feeling desired and beautiful allowing her to enjoy the experience for the first time since her captivity.

"Harder..." she moaned, her nails digging into his skin as she felt her body approaching her climax.

He answered by thrusting hard and deep into her, panting at the exertion, pinning her hands above her head. He looked down to where their bodies joined, entranced by how she took him, the way they fit so perfectly together. As she climaxed, he felt her walls tighten, pushing him over the edge as he came inside her. They were both out of breath, riding their orgasms out while he laid on top of her, peppering her shoulder and neck with gentle kisses.

Daryl tensed as the realization of what he had done swept through him.

“Fuck! I shoulda pulled out… I’m so sorry… fuck.” Quietly berating himself for being so careless, pulling out as he tried to move away.

“Shh, shh. It’s ok,” she grasped his face between her hands, keeping him in place, “we ain’t gotta worry about that.”

Daryl searched her eyes, startled and confused at her meaning.

“Jesus Daryl,” she laughed, letting go of his face, “I can’t get pregnant anymore, not since before all this...” a sadness filled her eyes, “... I had my tubes tied a long time ago.”

The understanding came over him like a warm blanket, his shoulders eased and he let out a breathy laugh.

“Ya, real sexy talk huh?” She joked.

“Girl, you ain’t got no clue how sexy that is.” He grinned at her, playfulness in his eyes.

“Oh yeah?” She smiled back.

“Yeah.” He leaned down, reassuring her with his lips as he kissed her deeply.

She slowly kissed down his neck, reaching his ear lobe. Taking it in her mouth she nibbled softly and he let out a groan of pleasure.

"Careful now..." he said, his voice low and gravelly, smiling into her ear.

"I'll remember that," she replied.

He leaned back to look her in the eyes, brushing a stray hair from her face. She was still flushed and he took great pride in the satisfied look she couldn't hide. The fight in them both had been subdued... for now. He kissed her softly before rolling onto his back next to her.

She let out another laugh, "well, that's one way to make me stay."

"Nah... that was goodbye," he said with a smile.

"Fuck off," she replied, without bite, looking over to him.

"Not a chance," he said sincerely, turning his head to meet her gaze.

She rolled to her side, facing him, gently moving his disheveled hair from his eyes so she could see him clearly. Resting her hand on his cheek. He reached up, cupping his hand over hers, and brought it to his lips. Kissing her palm tenderly, he looked up at her, heat in his eyes. He kissed her fingers, taking them into his mouth so slightly, barely grazing his teeth on the pads of the tips.

She let out a heavy breath and closed her eyes, surprised at the arousal she felt from such a small gesture.

"I'll remember that..." he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading and comments are always appreciated!


	9. Time to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rain continues and trauma's a bitch.
> 
> Daryl's surprisingly insightful and Q opens up more.
> 
> ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok y'all, shit gets a little dark in here, but hang in there! Chp 10 is getting posted for a sweet pick-me-up!
> 
> Proceed...
> 
> ***

It took much longer than it should have to get dressed. But, given that they both kept stopping the other, getting in the way with hands and mouths, it wasn’t all that surprising. Much to their own frustration, it wasn't smart to stay undressed for too long, and they both knew that. Never knowing when you might have to run.

Once they had both gotten everything back on, including their boots, they lingered apart for a minute, neither really sure what to do next. Daryl sat back down on the pallet and reached for her hand. Q grinned, accepting his hand she sat next to him. They laid back, Daryl's arm around her, toying with a loose strand of her hair. 

“You alright?” Daryl asked cautiously.

“Yeah. I am… You?”

“Pfft. Better than alright, been wantin’ to get you naked for months,” he teased, a smile on his lips.

She strategically pushed her finger between his ribs as he flinched, “that right, huh?” She grinned. He grabbed her hand firmly to stop, chuckling slightly in the process their eyes met.

“Yeah,” he replied gently. Q put her head down on his chest, unable to keep herself from grinning.

“I’ll take first watch,” he said after silently playing with her hair for a moment.

Turning to face him she reassured him, “Nah, it’ll be alright tonight. Rain like this? Walkers’ll get stuck in the mud or washed away before they can make it in. And ain’t no people for miles.”

He let out a short laugh, “alright then.” She felt that damn grin creep up again as she returned her head to his chest. The tension had finally been broken and the realization soothed them. That, combined with the sounds of rain hitting the roof, quickly lulled them both to sleep.

****

Q found herself in the middle of her old house, the one outside of Houston. Looking around she could see that it had been untouched by the turn... Had she made the whole thing up? Or was this the dream? Unsure, she made her way to the living room where she heard children laughing, her heart stopped. She hadn't heard that sound in so long, but she knew it instantly.

As she rounded the corner of the couch she saw her daughter, Ava playing with the train set she got for Christmas the year prior, while her baby son, Hal, laughed and giggled at the noises she was making. Q felt a sob rise in her chest.

' _My babies? They're... here?_ '

She felt a hand on her back, as she turned, her husband Mark smiled giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as he passed her to sit on the floor with the kids. It was like watching a movie, close enough to sense everything but not able to actually reach them.

Suddenly she felt them slipping away as the room darkened. The paint on the walls began to peel in front of her eyes. She turned around to see that the couch was now stained and torn, the glass of the family photos shattered in their frames. Spinning on her heels, she looked for her family. They were no longer on the floor, broken pieces of the train set scattered around the room. Panic began to set it...

' _No... No, no, no. They were here, they were just here!_ '

A loud crash came from down the hall. She ran to it, feeling like she would never quite reach it. She stopped, trying to process what was happening...

' _No... I remember this... I remember what’s in there..._ '

She was instantly at the door with her hand on the knob... Hesitating, she could hear the voice screaming in her head to stop but she couldn't. As the door opened, it collided with something large blocking the entrance, but she saw them. Just as she had that day when she lost everything. Mark. Ava. They had turned, stuck behind a dresser they must’ve moved to block the door. She slammed the door shut, her mind going blank, not fully processing what she’d seen.

Her stomach dropped, _‘oh my God, Hal..._ ' She ran to the last door on the left and found it open. The room was a mess, clothes and trash everywhere. The window had been broken out, glass spread over the floor. Her eyes locked onto the crib... She could see something inside but no movement...

' _Please... Oh God... Please... No..._ "

As she slowly walked across the room, she felt herself being pulled backwards, as if she was being sucked out of the room.

" _Q! Wake up! Wake up, Q! I'm right here..._ " She could make out Daryl's voice, but it was distorted, like it was being transmitted through an old radio. She shook her head, knowing he wasn't a part of this world, he wasn’t a part of her old life that had been so viciously taken from her.

' _No..._ ' she cried, "no!" She felt the air leave her lungs as if she had screamed for the first time in her life. Gasping for air, she flailed her arms, like she was trying to swim out of water, grasping for anything to help. Something grabbed her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides. She couldn't make out the voice yelling at her. She threw her head back, making contact with her attacker who then dropped her to the floor.

The impact of the ground brought her back to reality. She laid there sobbing, unable to calm herself, and unable to breathe. She knew it was a dream... no, a nightmare... forced to relive her darkest moments that she had buried so deep.

She felt a hand on her back, gentle but strong. She knew it was Daryl, she knew what she had done, but couldn't get a coherent thought out to even begin to explain. She worked her way up from the floor, guided by his hands, and fell into him. He picked her up and brought her back to where they had fallen asleep. Sitting down with her, she clung to his chest, her sobs lessening. She found comfort in his arms while he sushed her, attempting to help soothe her further.

"I got ya… Alright? You're alright," he said, planting a gentle kiss on her head.

****

He held her until she finally fell back to sleep, exhausted from the night terror. He gently laid her down, covering her with a blanket. Getting up, he went to the small crack they'd left covered by a blanket to check and see if they'd drawn any walkers with all of the noise. Luckily the storm must've drowned it out because the area surrounding the barn was still clear.

The lightning from the storm lit the barn as it shot through the sky, Daryl looked back to Q who seemed to be sleeping much more peacefully now.

_‘Must’ve_ _been her family..._ ' he realized as he replayed the ordeal.

Daryl was startled awake by Q thrashing around, mumbling something unintelligible... he’d shot up, looking around for the source of her anxiety when he realized she was still asleep.

He sat close by, watching her face change from elation to pure desperation. Whatever she was dreaming about was causing her distress... he put his hand on her arm, suddenly she rolled to her back, tears rolling down her face even though her eyes were still closed.

"No! ... Mark... Ava... " she sobbed. Daryl began to worry that her screams would outdo the thunder and rain, and bring walkers straight to them.

He started shaking her arm, trying to coax her awake. "Q... Q... You gotta wake up.."

"Hal... please... oh, God... please... no..." she cried out, still not coming out of it.

Daryl decided to pick her up, attempting to get her to walk and wake up. He was getting frantic now, her sobs were so loud and he knew she was hurting so badly. He just wanted her to wake up so he could comfort her.

"Q! Wake up! Wake up, Q! I'm right here..."

She started swinging her arms frantically, at a loss of how to subdue her, he threw his arms around her, pinning them to her sides. She was throwing herself around so much that she hit him in the face with the back of her head, causing him to drop her.

He saw her eyes after she hit the floor, wild and rabid, like when he had first met her. He stood back, giving her some space, she was awake now but having trouble breathing. He went to his knees next to her and put his hand on her back, after a minute or so she forced herself up and fell into him.

' _That must’ve been what Carol was talkin’ about..._ ' he realized.

When Carol was helping him through his loss of Beth, she told him that he had lashed out at night, screaming and yelling, so much so that she had to wake him with a bucket of water to the face one night. The look in Carol's eyes when he came to... he'd never forget it. She was terrified of him. Just now he realized she was probably terrified FOR him too... knowing the feeling himself now.

He decided to keep watch the rest of the night, concerned that she might have another night terror and he wanted to be ready.

***

When she woke up it was still raining, guessing by the light in the room it was early morning. Daryl was perched by the window, keeping watch.

Slowly, she remembered what had happened. The nightmare. Daryl. Torn between embarrassment for what they'd done and embarrassment for what she did, she just laid there. Not sure how to even begin.

Her body ached. Both from landing on the floor, but also from the intimacies they had shared. The first time in such a long time. She smiled at the memory of him.

"Mornin'," he said casually, getting down from his perch and making his way to her.

"Hey," she said, sitting up.

"Hungry?" He handed her the handkerchief of almonds he had been munching from.

"Ya... Thanks." She took a couple and looked at them in her hands. "Look... I'm sorry about last night. I'm not real sure what happened but I am sorry you had to deal with it.”

He was still standing close by, picking at the nuts in the handkerchief. He shrugged, "it was nothin'."

He looked at her, "You ok?"

"Ya. I mean... everything was good before that." She grinned slightly as she looked away.

"Mmmhmm," he agreed, smiling to himself.

"I haven't thought about that stuff in a long time," she said definitively.

Daryl sat down next to her, waiting for her to continue but she just stared off in the distance. After a long silence, he cautiously asked, "who's Mark?" Not wanting to spook her.

She tensed and felt the anxiety welling in her stomach. Realizing she owed him something after he had dealt with her outburst last night, she took a deep breath.

"He's... _was_... my husband. Before all this."

Daryl leaned back on his hands, not speaking, just watching her. Letting her take her time forming her thoughts.

"You were callin' out for him... I tried wakin’ ya up. Think I woulda learned my lesson bout grabbin’ you from behind," he teased gently, trying to put her at ease.

She dropped her head into her hands. "I'm sorry Daryl... I don't... I don't know where that came from."

"Used to do that. That night terror shit. Carol, she’d hear me from the next room, try to wake me up. Never worked, ‘cept for that time she used a bucket a'water."

Q let out a soft laugh. "Used to?"

"Ya. Stopped havin' 'um a year or so ago."

"How?" She asked, somewhat desperately.

He shrugged, "Carol, I guess..."

Q tensed slightly, "oh."

Picking up on her tone, he corrected her, "nah, not like that. She... we've just always looked out for each other. She helped me deal with my shit after I lost... Beth. Took a while... but I got there."

"Sometimes I think I'm too far gone."

"Nah. If ya were, you wouldn't be havin’ them. You'd be dead inside. You're just... guarded." He shrugged again.

"Well... Aren't you insightful?" She jabbed.

"Shut up," he said as he threw his arm around her, pulling her into him, kissing her on the top of her head. She liked this side of him. It was new to her, but there was something just so familiar and comfortable about being together.

"Hey, uhm about last night. Before the freak out… that was... something," she said, feeling herself blushing, thankful he couldn't see her face.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, knowing full well what she meant.

She pushed herself back up, looking him in the eyes, "Yeah."

She leaned in slowly and he met her halfway, their lips meeting. This kiss was new, comforting and warm, unhurried and peaceful.

She pulled back so she could see his face, "how's the rain out there?"

"No good, floodin’ around the barn," he said solemnly.

"Guess we aren't going anywhere soon then, huh?" She asked with a mischievous look in her eyes.

"Not unless ya wanna get washed away," he smiled back at her, his eyes meeting hers.

"Not exactly what I had in mind..." she bit her bottom lip again and he felt something grip deep in his chest.

Daryl read the signs and pulled her face to his, kissing her hard and all consuming. Somewhere inside, hoping to help her forget about her pain again. Happy that he could at least give her that.

Q was grateful for the rain, it was giving her more time. More time to think. More time to just be with Daryl. When he kissed her, she felt it through her whole body. She made her way into his lap, straddling him as she had the night before. Teasing his lips with hers, she worked his over shirt off again. She kissed his jaw line, making her way to his earlobe. Smiling wickedly, she took it in her mouth, causing Daryl to exhale sharply.

"I told ya..." he said, picking her up and flipping her over onto her back. "... that was dangerous."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comments are ALWAYS appreciated!!


	10. Time to Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all... this is just smut. Short, unapologetic smut...
> 
> *****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. 
> 
> That's all.
> 
> Enjoy! :D
> 
> ***

She let out a laugh as he moved her, feeling that wave of happiness again. It was fun, he was fun, this was... fun. She had forgotten that was possible in this world.

They made quick work of removing their clothes, instinct driving their movements. He threw his undershirt to the side then gripped her hips, bringing her closer to him. Making his way down her body, wanting a better view in the light of day, he kissed his way past her tally scars, down her hip then across her thigh. Letting out a satisfied growl, he worked himself between her legs, gently spreading her legs with a reassuring glance. He licked and kissed along her folds, tasting her and taking his time as if he was memorizing her.

She could feel the blood racing to where he was making contact, warm rushes as he tasted every inch of her. He licked her clit, teasing her entrance with his finger. When he looked up, catching her eyes, she saw his pupils were completely blown out, resembling a predator about to devour his prey. She bit her bottom lip as he slowly slid it in, loving how wet and warm she already was for him. The sensation of his touch combined with the look in his eyes forced her to instinctively arch her back in response, attempting to find the friction she desperately needed. He slid another finger in as he took her clit into his mouth. She moaned his name and he grinned giving a small gravelly moan in response. The vibration of his moan was all she needed to push her over the edge, enjoying every second of the waves as they hit her.

He wanted to see her face, watch her react to his touch. He was so turned on by every move, every sound she made. As he made his way to kiss her lips, she pushed him off of her. He was surprised at first, but once she followed, pushing him onto his back and mounting him, he understood.

Wasting no time, she rubbed herself against him, kissing and licking her way up his chest. She nipped at his nipple earning her a low growl. Smiling, she finished her exploration at his lips, hovering just above them without making contact. He felt like he was going to explode or implode or just lose his mind feeling her so close. He tried to lift his head to catch her mouth but she pulled back, running her hands down either arm, she guided them over his head, pinning him in place. He let out another low growl, earning him a quick bite on his neck.

“Damn woman...” He groaned, pleasure and anticipation wrecking his senses. With a smug grin, she leaned back slightly, taking a moment to look in his eyes. Knowing she was now the predator and he the prey, she took what she wanted, what she needed, enamored with the sounds he made as she took him fully in one smooth motion. She rode him hard and fast and feeling her second orgasm coming, she released his hands. Leaning back, he reached even deeper, meeting her thrust for thrust, he gripped her thighs, finger tips sure to leave marks, hitting that elusive spot that made her see stars.

Daryl was trying to outlast her despite his ragged groans and sloppy thrusts, he wanted to watch her reach her peak riding him, her perfect tits bouncing with each thrust. He felt the consuming need to consume every inch of her. He ran his hand up her torso, reaching her breast he palmed it, massaging it as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. She let out a gasping moan, closing her eyes as she threw her head back. He was at the edge, desperate to bring her with him, he laced his hand in hers and brought her fingertips to his mouth, gently sucking and nipping at the pads. She let out a whimper of pleasure, her body practically convulsing as she peaked. Feeling her walls clench around him he finally let himself follow, a deep guttural moan signaling his release.

She collapsed on top of him, everything so sensitive to the touch. He ran his hands up her sides, and she squirmed, "no no... Just... Wait." She said with a smile. “Tickles a bit,” she admitted as she bit her lower lip, relaxing against his chest again.

He let out a gravely laugh. "Guess we're even now," he whispered in her ear while he held her tight.

Knowing the threat was minimal in the daylight, and with no end to the rain in sight, they melted into each other’s arms, embracing the peace they’d found for as long as they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comments are ALWAYS appreciated!!


	11. Time to Share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out more about what happened to Q's family.
> 
> Daryl is quite the good listener and Beth's (RIP!) words still linger in his mind.
> 
> ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter here y'all-going to post Chp 12 quickly!
> 
> ****

She sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest, as they snacked on the few supplies she had packed during her attempted escape.

They stayed like this for a while, just enjoying the company, listening to the storm.

He finally broke the silence, "ya’ know I had to... I had to put Merle down. After he turned."

Carol had told her as much, but this was the first time Daryl had spoken about his brother around her.

She turned her head slightly so he could see her, "I'm sorry you had to be the one."

"Nah, I'm not."

She was surprised. "It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do," he continued.

She was still confused and Daryl could practically see the wheels turning in her head, trying to understand.

"I'd rather it'd be me,” he took a moment to gather his thoughts, biting at his thumb,” how many walkers have we had to take out to survive? Forget they used to be someone's... something." He shrugged, "he... I gave him an easy, quick death. Buried him myself. Prolly more than he expected... or deserved. He was my brother, I had to. It has to still matter." He thought back to Beth, one of the things she had forced him to remember and one thing that he'd never forget.

After taking it all in, Q finally spoke, "I did."

She was staring off into nothing, deep in thought. Daryl was pretty sure he knew what she meant, after last night and what she had screamed out in her sleep, but he also knew she needed to say it. So he just waited, holding her to his chest.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "I've never talked about this. Any of it. Carol doesn't even know. Just... please."

He understood, "s’ just me. Ain't no one's business."

She leaned harder into him, prompting him to squeeze her a little tighter.

"It... I wasn't with them, when it happened. I was trapped at the airport in Austin, where we lived, supposed to fly out for work."

She took another deep breath.

"Made it home after a couple days, but they’d already left. Bags were gone, found a note from Mark saying they'd gone to our house out in East Texas, outside of Houston. Away from people, where it’d be safer, and to meet them there."

Daryl wasn't sure who all 'them' included, but she had said 2 other names in her sleep, and she had told him she had a family before. He could make the connection, but wasn't going to force her to explain until she was ready.

"Anyways... It took uhm, a long time to get there on foot. I stopped at a survivors camp on the way to resupply. That's when some assholes jumped me. Stole my supplies, stabbed me and took off."

"Someone found me before I could bleed out, got me to the camp doctor. After a week or so, when I could move, I just walked out. I needed to find them."

She took a sip of water, her palms had started sweating at the memories. The ones she was about to unlock being the worst of all. She sat up, pulled the blanket over her shoulders and turned to face him. He gave her a reassuring look, his blue eyes urging her to continue. She looked away, composing her thoughts.

"When I got to the house the door was open and I knew. I knew almost immediately that they must’ve…” she took a deep breath, grounding herself again, “I had to see it with my own eyes though. So, I just wandered in, not really thinkin’ straight. The house was a wreck, obviously someone had taken whatever they could get their hands on."

She wiped a tear from her eyes and stopped.

She took another deep breath, and continued...

"I heard them in the master bedroom. The thumping... that sound of a body running into something. It's so distinctive now... can't believe I didn't realize it then. I guess I was just... hoping? Thinkin’ maybe they'd locked themselves in to hide from whoever had wrecked the house, ya know?"

She let out a scoff, "Fucking idiot... when I tried to open the door, it got stuck... It was a dresser or something. And I saw them... My daughter... Ava... my baby girl... and Mark. What was left of them... what they were now."

She took a pause there, letting the memory wash over her as tears trickled down her cheek.

Daryl reached up and wiped the tears from her face, careful not to crowd her. She smiled slightly, wiping the rest away.

"I, uh, slammed the door closed. I realized that my baby boy... Hal... I hadn't seen him in the room... so I ran down the hall... his door was open... and there he was... in his crib... peaceful... cold... I... I think Mark must've..." she started to break, "... if I'd been there, maybe he wouldn't have had to... maybe it was just too much, too hard to protect two... and a baby at that... I should've been..." she broke, unable to get any words out.

She sat there, sobbing uncontrollably. Daryl instinctively went to her, pulled him into his arms and let her break.

"I had to..." she cried, "they weren't mine anymore."

Daryl understood. Q had to take care of her family like he had taken care of Merle. His heart ached for her, he had had a very complicated relationship with his brother and knew how hard that had been for him. He could only imagine her pain. Her husband... her kids... that's what this new world did to them all.

After a few minutes of sobbing, she started to slow down, her breath becoming steadier as she tried to breathe with Daryl. Feeling his chest rise and fall, focusing on only that.

"I buried them. In the backyard... "

They both went silent, just holding each other, the rain pounding on the roof.

"I think I died with them," She added, calm and emotionless.

"You're still alive. You're here with me and I got you. You hear me?" He said sternly, wanting to be sure he broke through her haze.

She nodded into his chest, exhausted from reliving the horrors of that day.

***

The rain finally stopped that night, the cool breeze of fall following the storm. Knowing it was safer to wait until morning, they decided to spend one more night in the barn.

"Good thing the rain broke... almost outta food." He said, looking through her pack.

"Well, didn't exactly pack for two," she joked.

"Fair ‘nough," he smiled, still going through the pack, looking for anything else to eat. Instead, his hand landed on something else.

He pulled out the small, bound paper that had earned him a knee to the chest so long ago. He removed it from the bag very carefully and she tensed when she saw it in his hand.

He looked at her, asking permission with his eyes. She took a deep breath and nodded once.

He removed the string and unfolded the paper, revealing a multi-colored circle with other crayon marks strewn about the paper. With it, he found a small family photo. The woman in the photo was younger, a little heavier than the one in front of him, with much shorter hair, but the same unmistakable green eyes.

She was happy, laughing, holding a chubby smiling baby in her lap while a little girl made a funny face at the camera. Only half of the man's face was in the photo, obviously he was trying to squeeze them all in while taking it himself.

Daryl grinned, but his heart ached for her, knowing what she had had to do. That she had been the one to put them down... he took a deep breath.

"Good lookin' family," he said earnestly.

She loosened her stance, giving him a slight grin of thanks.

"Ava... She drew that for me at school... she said it was the sun." She smiled at the memory, "she was so adamant that it was the sun... I couldn't argue..."

Daryl looked back at the photo, turning it over he saw the writing on the back…

'Zilker Park. Ava (3y), Hal (6m), Mark and Victoria’

He looked up at her, and grinned, having finally discovered what her real name was.

She just looked to the ground. “No one has called me that in a long time… it’s not who I am now…”

She walked over and took it from him, wrapping it back up, she pushed it into the bottom of her pack.

Daryl realized that Q had never intended to share that part. Something about revealing the name from her old life made her shut down. After everything they'd shared in the last couple of days, he wasn't going to let that happen.

He crossed to her, and took her hand, "it ain’t nobody's business." He reiterated what he had said before she opened up about her past. Trying to make it clear that it would all stay with him.

"Ok," was all she could muster as she squeezed his hand lightly in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comments fuel that fire!!


	12. Time to Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Q continue to work on their lack-luster communication skills.
> 
> Carol set's some shit straight in her very Carol way.
> 
> These dumb dumbs are dangerous and adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick follow-up chapter to the short Chp 11!

Q woke up to the smell of rabbit cooking over a fire. The spot where Daryl had slept next to her was now empty and cold. Throughout the night, when she would jolt awake from some nightmare, she'd find comfort in his presence. Being able to just open her eyes and know he'd be there. It was something she didn't even realize she was missing.

Q looked through the blanket covered window and saw Daryl crouched over a makeshift fire spit. They had decided to head back to The Kingdom today and she was beginning to question her choice. She didn't want to leave Daryl and whatever this was they had started... but at the same time she wasn't sure that she was ready to call it home.

Daryl was up before the sun broke the horizon, his mind already racing with concerns about their return. While he cooked the rabbit he’d caught, he found himself questioning how they would handle this... thing between them when they got back... Carol wouldn't ignore it, especially since they both disappeared for two days without any word... it wasn't out of the norm for Daryl to disappear from time to time, hunting and scavenging, but since they both disappeared... it would certainly raise some questions.

He heard the barn door open and looked up, watching her make her way to the fire, he felt a wave of an emotion he couldn't quite identify. It wasn't lust... something deeper. He wasn't sure but it made him uneasy.

He pulled the rabbit from the fire, checking to see if it was done. Q squatted to his left, clearly picking her spot so she could still keep an eye on the tree line. He handed her a leg, and she took it without question.

After they had finished eating in a comfortable silence, Q finally spoke, "Thanks for the breakfast." They caught each other’s eyes and he could see the anxiety building in her. He tried to hide his own and just replied, "mmhmm."

Both clearly had their minds occupied as Q shoved the few remaining supplies, including what was left of the rabbit, into her pack. Daryl was careful not to touch the bag after last night. He knew she needed some boundaries, to have some things that would be only hers.

He looked to her and she gave him a nod, telling him that she was ready to go.

They didn't say much as they started on the road back, only the occasional signal when a walker was spotted. The dynamic had changed from their time in the barn, not because of regret or embarrassment, but because they both knew it would be different now.

With every step toward The Kingdom he felt her close off more and more, her body tensing, the openness they'd shared disappearing. He told her before that he wasn't going to just fuck off, and he meant it. He just needed to make it clear to her that going home didn't mean they had to go backwards.

"Ya know Carol is gonna read us the riot act when we get back..." he attempted to break the silence.

"Probably," she replied, stone faced.

"Hey," he said, stopping, “what's goin’ on?"

"What do you mean?" She asked without stopping or looking at him.

"HEY!" He barked, his frustration rising at the lack of shits she was giving.

She finally stopped and turned back to him, "What?"

"This how it's gonna be?"

"I dunno know what you're talking about." She said calmly, but in her eyes he could see the feral animal growing inside of her.

"A’right. Then you tell me why you're shuttin’ me out now." He demanded as he closed the gap between them.

"Dixon, I..."

"Nah, don't do that shit again," he growled.

This time she let out a frustrated growl, "Are we really going to do this, out here?"

"Here's as good’a place as any."

"Fine. What's gonna happen when we get back? Hmm? We can't really expect to do THIS there, right? Carol, your family... I'm not really one of them… and we both know Ezekiel doesn't trust me..."

“He just doesn't know what to make of you yet... hell, not sure I do either..." he muttered angrily. She only scoffed in answer.

"Look, I dunno..." he said honestly, "we gotta figure it out as we go."

"Fuck, that's comforting… this was a bad idea."

"Just calm down, alright..." he tried again. This time, she shot him a death glare. He looked at her sheepishly, "We just go back. Go back and take it as it comes." 

She softened slightly, clearly still irritated that he had the nerve to tell her to calm down.

“Ok?” He brought her in with one arm and kissed her forehead. He surprised himself with his rational approach, but he knew that it was the truth and no amount of planning would actually prepare them for what might happen next. He was somewhat relieved when she gave in and hugged him back.

"Fine… but I ain’t holdin’ your fucking hand," she said jokingly.

"Ya ya ya, I don’t expect you to,” he grinned, “now get movin'."

***

They reached Carol's place in the early afternoon. They were both relieved that she wasn't home. It was her usual shift at the wall, but they weren't sure if she'd be going about business as usual with them MIA.

Q made her way to her room to put down her pack and found that it was just as she had left it. She looked around the house and noticed that there was a blanket and pillow on the chair by the window. She knew Carol had slept there, waiting for her to come back. That pang of guilt hit her heart as she sat down on the couch across the room.

Daryl had done his usual round of the house, something he was in the habit of doing every time he got to Carol's, and gave her the all clear.

He leaned against the wall, "you done runnin’? Or am I gonna have to put that bell on you?"

"Psh, you can try," she challenged. She seemed sad, and he couldn't figure out why. He went to the couch where she was and squatted in front of her.

"We good?"

"Yup," she said without looking him in the eye.

He reached up and gently held her chin, she looked into his eyes, and he repeated, "We good?"

She put her hand around his and conceded, "ya... we're good."

He hesitated, unsure where her head was at. She was still having nightmares, not as bad as that first night in the barn, but still enough that he would have to coax her out of it by stroking her hair or her arm.

He put his forehead down on her knees and after a few minutes of just sitting there, he finally looked up at her again.

"I gotta go check in ‘bout missin’ my shifts. I'll get ya covered too. But I'll be back... Ok?"

"Daryl, I'm not going to fall apart while you're gone. We're good, I'm good, I promise."

He let out a groan of frustration. As he made his way to the door, he looked back at her, he felt his heart strain about walking away. He was genuinely afraid something would happen to her... even though he knew she could handle herself.

This intense need to protect her was new to him and something he knew she would probably resent if she knew.

"I'll see ya later... right?" He asked with a twinge of fear.

She stood from the couch and made her way to him at the door, that feral look in her eyes again.

"Man up Dixon," she said with a mischievous grin, “I said..." she pushed up against the door, "I'm good."

He looked into her eyes, trying to decide if she was telling him the truth. Either way, she leaned in and kissed him deeply, and he returned the gesture, grabbing her ass and pulling her closer.

He turned her and pushed her against the door, then leaned back to look her in her eyes again. He put both hands on her face, pushing the stray hair from her eyes, her pupils almost blown out. He answered with his own deep kiss, one hand moving to her right to thigh, the other to her left breast. He kissed her neck as he lifted her right leg, she followed his guidance and hooked her leg around him. He reached for her left, picking her up and straddling him, he pushed her against the door again. She moaned as she ran her hands through his hair.

He carried her to her bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him.

"I thought you had to go check in?" She teased. Kissing his neck.

He laid her on the bed, "Best not start somethin' ya can't finish." He said with a grin as he resumed kissing her.

She was unbuckling his belt when they both heard the front door open. It was too early for Carol to be off of her shift...

He moved against the wall by the door as she rolled to her bag, retrieving a pistol and tossing it to him. She unsheathed her dagger and took her place at the door. He nodded to her and she pulled the door open quickly, Daryl jumping into the doorway with the pistol aimed and ready.

"Well for fuck’s sake!" Carol yelled out, dropping her bag of supplies. Daryl lowered his gun, and sheepishly made his way out of the room.

"Glad to see you're back pookie... where's Q?" She asked with a relieved sigh, picking up what she'd dropped.

Q came into the doorway.

"Oh... well..." Carol smiled, looking back and forth between the two.

"Hope I didn't interrupt..." she jabbed.

"Shut up," he smirked, helping her pick up the rest. "You’re back early..."

“Didn't get much sleep last night, traded my shift," she explained.

Carol stood and walked to Q. "You back?"

Q just stood there, slightly embarrassed, feeling like her mom had just caught her with a boy in her room. She lifted her head and looked Carol in the eyes.

"Good. I'm making a stew, hungry?" She asked casually, working her way to the kitchen.

Q sheathed her knife and exhaled, leaning back against the wall. Daryl stood at the front door with his arms crossed. He shrugged at Q and she shrugged back.

"I'm gunna go... check in..." he said, working the door open behind him.

Q gave him the death glare again, not believing he was leaving her to face Carol alone.

"Are you fucking kidding me??" She mouthed to him.

"Dinner's in a couple hours, if you'll be joining us..." Carol called from the kitchen.

"Uhmm..." he looked to Q who raised her eyebrows and nodded hostily at him... "ya, I'll see ya then."

Before he stepped out, he gave her a quick wink with a mischievous grin. She wasn't sure if it pissed her off or turned her on... either way she'd deal with him later.

Q lingered in her doorway, debating if she would talk to Carol now or later... opting for later, she closed herself in her room. Climbing into bed she felt alone, missing Daryl's presence more than she wanted to.

' _ I’m so fucked _ .' She thought to herself as she couldn't help but smile and the memory of the last couple of days.

***

She knew sleep wasn't going to happen. After she unpacked, sharpened her blades, counted her bullets, and realized she couldn't delay it any longer, she finally left her room.

Fall was starting to blow its way in, and the smell of the stew filled the house with warmth. She took a deep breath and crossed to the kitchen. Carol was stirring a big stainless steel pot and tasting it occasionally.

"You need any help?" Q finally spoke up.

"Taste this..." Carol brought the big wooden spoon to Q's mouth, after blowing on it, she tasted it. “It's missing something..."

Q thought for a moment, "Garlic?" she suggested.

“That's it! Would you grab me some from the pantry?"

Q did as she was told, but was anxiously waiting for Carol to bring up the elephant in the room. She handed her the garlic and Carol got to work peeling and finely chopping it. Once she added the garlic, she stirred it and put the lid on.

Wiping her hands on a towel, she faced Q.

"So... You decided to run?"

Q knew it was best to just be upfront with Carol. She saw bullshit coming from a mile away.

"Yes."

"And what stopped you?" Q looked to the ground, "or should I ask,  _ who _ ?" Q looked up at her.

Carol smiled, "I figured he'd try... wasn't so sure you'd listen."

"It's just complicated Carol... "

"I dunno, seems pretty straightforward to me. Why are  _ you _ making it more complicated?"

Q let out a small chuckle. "I am sorry for how I left you. I should've said something... handled it differently..."

"You did what you needed to do, believe it or not I understand. All that matters now is that you're back and that we move forward from here. You’re my family now baby girl, deal with it."

Q was taken back. She knew Carol was right, it had been hard to walk away that night and there was no way she would have the strength to do it again. They were family. She wiped the tear from her face and gave Carol a nod.

Always good at reading her, Carol accepted her response and moved on.

"So... You and Daryl."

Q rolled her eyes and couldn't fight the smile that was forming, "It's complicated Carol."

"Uh huh. Whatever you say baby girl."

They finished prepping dinner in a comfortable silence as Q set the table and Carol sliced the bread she'd brought home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	13. Time to Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a hot second... life got in the way and all that... thanks to ProtonBeam for getting me through the blocks!

After Daryl had made his peace with Tonkin, who had recently taken over scheduling shifts, he went back to his room to clean up. Before tossing on a clean shirt and pants, he cleaned the outside world from his skin with the water by his bed. He thought about Q... he thought about how she felt next to him, how she smelled like fire and honeysuckle, no matter what... and how she tasted... his mind jumped to their time together and he wondered how they were going to figure that out with all of the possible interruptions now.

He felt the constant underlying desire to get back to her, and he was still uneasy with this need he felt on such a primal level. He told himself she needed the time to make amends with Carol. Which was true. He also didn't want to face Carol's all knowing look just yet. He felt a surge of fear that she might not be there when he went back. He took a deep breath.

' _ Damn man... she got you locked up tight. She'll be there. She ain't lied to you yet, why would she start now? _ '

He knew he would have to fight this urge with her. The impulse to believe once she was out of sight that she might disappear. He put his head in his hands and smiled...

' _ I am so fucked. _ '

****

Daryl had almost made it to the gate when Tonkin stopped him.

"Daryl, I want to introduce you to Peter. Jesus brought him in while you were...  _ gone _ ." He added the last bit with a slightly irritated tone.

"Heh, ya. Hey." Daryl said casually, shaking the new guy's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Daryl," Peter replied.

"Tomorrow, I'd like Peter to shadow you on your shift, get an idea of how we do things."

Daryl grunted and gave a nod. "You any good with that?" he asked motioning to the glock strapped to his leg.

"Good enough I guess. Try to avoid it with the ammo shortage," Peter replied.

"Hmm," Daryl grumbled in response, sizing Peter up. It didn’t take long, he usually put people into one of two categories: the living and the surviving. The living would pull their weight, do their best to help out and, while he may not like them personally, they were an asset. Survivors? They’d do whatever it took to make it, no matter who got hurt. Daryl couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something off-putting about this guy.

_ ‘Fuck it, I’ll deal with it later.’ _

"I got somewhere to be. I'll catch up with ya tomorrow," he nodded to them and turned back towards the gate to leave.

"Catch you tomorrow," Peter replied.

***

When Daryl reached Carol's house he paused at the gate, he could see her inside setting the table. He couldn't see Q just yet and that now familiar wave went through his stomach. He knocked, which was unusual for him to do at Carol's but he wanted to be sure he didn't just walk into some conversation he shouldn't. When no one answered, he pushed the door open to see Carol waiting, watching him with one eyebrow raised.

"Since when do you knock?" she asked with her hand on her hip.

He scoffed and closed the door behind him. He felt his heart begin to pound as he looked around the room, seeing Q's door open but no sign of her... As he made his way to the table to sit down he heard the back door open and immediately knew it was her. The fear turned to anxiety as he tried to hide his emotions from his face. Luckily Carol was too busy fighting with the wood in the fireplace to notice. Q walked into the dining room and stopped when she saw him.

Her face, much to her own irritation, started to turn red, and she wondered when she'd stop having that immediate reaction. He shifted in his seat, which told her she had a similar impact on him. She sat at the table next to him, resisting the urge to touch him in any way. It felt like some strong external force kept trying to make their hands or legs meet. Instead they'd bump and make awkward apologies.

Carol brought the stew to the table and began to serve. She talked about the weather, about the cookies she'd traded for the bread, and about the new guy that Jesus had brought in.

"Yeah, met the guy on my way out." Daryl finally contributed to the conversation through a mouthful of stew. "Tonkin wants him to follow me ‘round tomorrow... guess we'll see," he shrugged.

"Are you going back to work tomorrow?" Carol asked, turning to Q.

Q shrugged and looked to Daryl for guidance. "Am I?"

He looked to his stew to avoid the reaction he knew his face had when she locked eyes with him. "Uh, just told Tonkin we were huntin' and got stuck 'cause of the rain. Said you could take the shift tomorrow..." he cleared his throat, "... with me."

"Works for me." Q shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

"Good, best to get back to business as usual. With Fall coming, and eventually the snow, we'll need to do as many supply runs as we can... Probably have to venture out further now... But I'm sure you two wouldn't mind handling that." Carol said matter of factly.

Q about choked on her stew as Daryl adjusted himself in his seat with a scoff.

"Thought not," she said with a smile.

Q was relieved that that was the extent of the interrogation for the day. She'd decided to stay, which was Carol's main request of her before starting anything with Daryl. So given that she hadn't seemed pissed or upset about almost catching them earlier, she figured Carol must be ok with it...

Q made her way outside after dinner, climbing up to her favorite spot on top of the shed. She had snuck out, hoping to put Daryl in the hot seat she'd found herself in earlier. As she looked at the stars she started to think about her family. Her old family... She was battling her own guilt at starting a new life. She'd convinced herself that since she was never settling down, she wasn't moving on. But now... now she had reasons to stay... Carol... Daryl... She even found herself caring about the King's opinion of her. She knew she'd have to face that head on by requesting an audience with The King himself... but that could wait. For now. For now she needed to adapt to the idea of staying and the truth of actually starting a new life.

***

He sat on the counter, playing with the unlit cigarette in his hand, just waiting. He was waiting, waiting for Carol to ask, or tell, whatever, he just needed it to be over. Needed her to be the one to address it. So he waited... waited while she cleared the table... did the dishes... dried them... put them up... and he was pretty sure she knew exactly what she was doing. But, he knew he could wait her out.

Finally, after almost an hour, Carol put the towel on the counter and turned around.

"So. What happened?" She finally asked.

He was surprised to find that he couldn't articulate a simple answer... and when the words escaped him he shrugged slightly and muttered, "Dunno."

"Really? You've been lingering... no,  _ hovering _ , for an hour, waiting for me to bring it up and that's all you can give me?" She laughed.

" 's complicated."

"Well that's exactly what she said. Since you two apparently don't know or don't want to talk about it... what happens now?"

He just looked at her.

"I swear Daryl if you say 'I dunno' one more time... just..." she let out a sigh, "just tell me this much... did she tell you anything about what happened to her?"

He nodded, chewing on his thumb, careful not to make eye contact.

"And?" she tilted her head questioningly.

_ ‘Not telling,’ _ he thought. "She's been through her fair share of shit."

She leaned against the counter, crossing her arms, "Did she tell you about the rest of them?"

He knew she was asking about the scars... He shook his head.

"Listen to me... Q? She's family now. She made her choice to come back. But whatever this is between you two..." Daryl shifted uncomfortably and Carol waited until he looked up, "Whatever this is? Just be smart. I don't want either of you to get hurt... especially since we're all stuck with each other now. Right?"

He scoffed and jumped down off the counter.

"Ya done?" he joked.

"For now," she smiled. "Go on." She motioned her head to the back door.

He gave her a hug. Knowing what being family meant to her, he wanted to reassure her that they would be, no matter what.

***

"Well? How bad was it?" Q asked as she heard him make his way to the top of the shed.

"I'm alive ain't I?" He joked as he laid down next to her.

"Ya know, all the shit I've seen... No one scares me quite like Carol does," she smiled.

"Pfft, you dunno the half of it."

As they laid there, Q moved her head closer to Daryl's shoulder. She was so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster of the day, and he put her at such ease, she actually felt herself begin to drift off to sleep.

After a few minutes, he felt her drifting. "Let's get you inside," he said. She groaned but knew he was right, it was irresponsible to let your guard down too much outside.

Carol had already gone to bed, her door closed. Daryl walked Q to her door and stood in the doorway as she pulled her boots and socks off and threw them in the corner. She unbuttoned her pants and slid them off with some difficulty, then climbed into bed facing the other wall.

He started to close the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked without turning to him, "can you... will you stay?"

He lingered with his hand on the door, thinking it through. Of course he wanted to, but he felt strange given that it was Carol's house.

The door creaked.

"Daryl?" She rolled over to see that he was gone... and the door had been closed behind him. A sharp pain hit her chest and in her exhaustion she started to tear up as she rolled back over.

Then the door creaked open and Daryl came into the room, closing it behind him. He shuffled around in the dark, kicking his boots off and putting his pants on the side of the bed. He climbed in and laid on his back. She rolled towards him and let out an unexpected sniffle.

He turned his head to face her, his eyes still adjusting to the dark, "you ok?"

She let out a small laugh, "ya... no, I'm good."

"Had to make sure we were locked down for the night." He put his arm out and she adjusted herself into his side.

She smiled to herself, ' _ Of course he did... _ '

  
  



	14. Time to Recognize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Rubs hands together* ... Let's do this thing...
> 
> *********

Daryl left as the sun came up, but he let Q know before leaving this time. She had asked him to stay with her that night and he knew she was having a hard time sleeping alone. Not that he minded, when he was with her, he found himself actually sleeping better than he had in a very long time.

He took a detour on the way back, following a set of tracks into the woods. As the tracks became fresher, he knew he was closing in. After adjusting his approach to ensure he was downwind, he slowly came up to the through path he knew was frequented by deer and other animals in the area.

He finally spotted a young male deer, antlers barely sprouting from its head. Raising his crossbow, he hesitated, contemplating if it was necessary to kill one so young. In that brief pause, Daryl heard the unmistakable sound of a silencer pop off and watched as the young buck hit the ground. He squatted down, looking around for the source, when he saw Peter, the guy he'd met the night before climbing through some brush.

Daryl stood, "What the hell?"

Peter spun and aimed at him, "Oh hey, Daryl, right?" He casually walked to the deer, still moaning in pain from it's neck wound, and shot him in the head.

Daryl was stoic. What kind of idiot kills a deer that young? Let him grow, let him age, hopefully mate, and produce more potential food next year. It hit his core, his respect for the natural order of things, hell, his pride as a hunter.

"What the fuck are ya thinkin'?" He growled taking a half step towards Peter.

Unphased, Peter replied, "what do you mean? I'm getting breakfast...?" He squatted down and began to gut the deer right there.

"Man you're gonna draw every walker downwind within a mile of here doin' that." He was getting more and more irritated by the second. This guy was now putting not only The Kingdom at risk, but Q and Carol who happened to be downwind.

"I'll be quick," he replied, making a hack job of his 'cleaning.'

Daryl scoffed as he heard a walker coming close, he waited to see if Peter noticed. He was going to let him learn, the hard way if he had to, not to be so careless. Not when The Kingdom was close enough to carry such a small kill back and clean within the safety of the walls.

The walker was about 10 feet away when Peter finally heard it, he looked at it then back at Daryl, "you mind?" He nodded at the walker.

"Nope," he replied, lowering his crossbow and standing his ground.

"Really?"

Daryl just stared back at him.

"Alright then..." much to Peter's surprise, he turned to see that the walker had closed the gap and was almost on top of him.

"Shit!" He yelled as the walker fell on him. He was struggling to handle it, "are you crazy?! You're just gonna stand there?!"

"Nah," Daryl casually raised his crossbow and shot the walker through the head like he’d done so many times before.

Peter threw the walker off of himself, out of breath. Daryl went to pull the bolt from the walker's head when Peter finally pulled himself together.

"Jesus man, what the hell was that?!" Peter panted.

"A cheap lesson," he spat, turning and heading back to The Kingdom, his blood boiling at the stupidity he had just witnessed.

***

An hour or so later, Daryl was sitting on a table near Tonkin's makeshift 'office,' smoking a cigarette. He was waiting to see if Peter had any choice words after their encounter when he saw Q come through the gate. His heart jumped at the sight of her, but he tried to maintain his calm composure. She hadn't seen him yet, so he had the rare opportunity to just watch her.

She was quickly stopped by one of the younger girls in the community, he couldn't remember her name... Maybe Sarah? She was 6 or 7, and had taken a fondness to Q in spite of her typical less than receptive body language.

He was surprised to see that Q actually smiled at the girl. Whatever she was saying, it must've been important, judging by the little girl's excessive gesturing and emphatic delivery. The little girl hugged Q around the waist as he watched her reaction closely. At first, she tensed, then put a hand on the girl's back and seemed to relax just as the girl let go. The kid waved and ran off in the other direction.

Q watched her go before she seemed to sense eyes on her, turning instinctively to catch Daryl watching her from 100 yards away. She let a subtle smile show, one he knew she was fighting to keep hidden. He watched her, his eyes somewhat hidden by his tousled hair, while taking the occasional drag off his cigarette.

His senses were heightened just by the sight of her. The way she walked, the way she moved, everything about her consumed him, it felt almost primal. It was intense and dominated his thoughts, which concerned him on some level.

She was about 50 yards away when Peter appeared in between their sight line. Then something changed. Q stopped dead in her tracks, which immediately made him sit up straight to get a better look at her. Standing from the table, he stiffened, trying to read her. She was still, all the happiness from minutes before had drained from her face and she had her hand on her dagger.

Peter must've seen Daryl's posture change because his face shifted from scowling to alarm almost immediately. Peter turned around to see what Daryl was really looking at just as Q spun on her heel to head back to the gate.

"Vic? ..." Peter mumbled, barely audible, but Daryl heard it crystal clear and he knew what it meant. His stomach dropped.

"VIC!" Peter yelled at Q. She stopped and turned back to face him. She glanced past Peter to Daryl, who was now making his way to her at a cautious but purposeful pace.

Peter took off running to Q, beating Daryl to her. Daryl saw the shock on her face and felt a fire light up in his chest. He pulled out his knife while quickly closing the last bit of distance between them.

Peter grabbed Q and lifted her off the ground, laughing and saying things that were incoherent to Daryl as blind rage and instinct were taking over. All he could see were Q's eyes, somewhere between fear and that feral look she defaulted to.

As Peter lowered her back to the ground, Daryl finally reached them, punching Peter in the lower back, forcing his arms to release the grip he had on Q. A quick heel to the back of Peter's knee forced him to kneel, allowing Daryl to position himself between him and Q. One right cross and Peter was laid out flat, moaning and holding his face.

"Hey now! What in the hell is goin’ on?!" Tonkin yelled, running from his office.

"Stay down!" Daryl growled ferociously at Peter, pointing his knife at him. Peter threw his hands up, showing he had heard him.

Daryl finally turned to Q and could see she was in shock. He put his knife away and put both hands on her face, "Q, hey... you with me? You ok?"

She blinked a few times before she finally looked at him and into his eyes. He watched her come back to present, even as her breathing sped up.

"Who the fuck is Q? Vic, it's Peter, tell him you know me!" Peter moaned through a now bloody nose.

Tonkin helped Peter up as Daryl turned around and got right in Peter's face. Chest to chest, establishing dominance, his own feral rage running through him, forcing Peter back a couple of feet.

"Daryl," Q finally spoke, it was almost a whisper, he'd heard it but wasn't thinking straight. He felt her hand on his arm and it pulled him back to reality.

"Daryl..." he turned to face her, color coming back to her cheeks but a look of fear remained in her eyes.

He couldn't speak yet, trying to calm the animal inside. He just looked into her eyes, trying to pull himself together.

"Vic..."

"Naw, that ain't her name!" He growled, turning back towards Peter. Q grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Daryl... please..." her eyes begging him to stop. He took a deep breath, nodded, and she let go. He was still pacing but had moved behind her now, giving her the chance to face Peter.

"You got yourself a guard dog now?" He jabbed at Daryl, who took a step towards him. Q put her hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks. 

She could see Daryl’s fists clenching, tighter and tighter, almost to the point of drawing blood, desperately fighting the urge to knock Peter out. Her head was spinning and she just needed to keep him from killing anyone until she had a chance to figure out what the fuck was going on.

"Stop... Peter. Just... shut up." Q demanded.

Daryl felt his stomach drop again, she knew him, she definitely knew him... But how? Before? After? His mind was racing and the pacing was the only thing keeping him from taking his frustrations out on Peter's face.

Peter nodded, wiping the blood from his nose.

"I think y'all should move this off the street now..." Tonkin said, glancing between the three of them, motioning back to his office.

Q looked around and realized that everyone within earshot had stopped what they were doing to watch what was happening. She felt that uneasy wave of too much attention and made her way to Tonkin's door. Peter and Daryl sized each other up for a moment, each waiting for the other to make the first move.

"Peter..." Tonkin motioned for him to follow Q, knowing full well Daryl wasn't about to go first.

Once Peter started moving Daryl was right behind him, not about to let him out of his sight.

  
  



	15. Time to Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings can be tricky... and being vulnerable sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's done, happy hump day! here's another chapter lol

Tonkin's office had once been a utility shed, the smell of manure and dirt still lingered in the walls in spite of his best efforts and recent paint job. His desk was an old principal's desk, repurposed when The Kingdom was being established. On the walls were framed posters, clearly from the same principals office, stating things like "Teamwork,” “Endure,” "Goals" and other motivational verbiage paired with an equally blatant image.

There were benches lining the walls and two extra metal chairs with hideously worn brown leather seats positioned in front of Tonkin’s desk.

Q went straight for the bench across from the door, and stood near the large desk with her arms crossed. She was still pale compared to her usual hue, but now the fear had left her eyes and only the caged animal stared back.

Peter looked confused and pissed, still holding his nose up to stop the bleeding. He pulled one of the metal chairs out and sat with his back to the wall.

Daryl stood opposite from Peter, arms crossed, with his heart still racing. He was reeling, angry and concerned about whatever the fuck was happening. His eyes never left Peter.

Tonkin stood in the doorway, flipping on the rickety fan for the group to have extra light.

"Right. I'll be outside... don't break anything… or kill each other." Then he looked straight at Daryl, “understand?"

"You're not staying? " Peter sat up, looking a little frightened at the idea.

"Hell no! I dunno what you did but I want nothing to do with any of THIS." He motioned to the room with his hand. Tonkin looked at Daryl again, who nodded, then he left, closing the door behind him.

There the three sat, the tense silence almost unbearable, until finally Q looked over to Daryl.

“You should step out too."

He felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him as he looked away from Peter, "me? Nu-uh." He shook his head.

She looked down to the floor, "Daryl. I need you to leave. Now."

He continued to watch her, disbelief that she'd shut him out again washed over him, and when she didn't look up, his heartbreak turned to anger.

"Pfft," was all he could spit out as he walked to the door, a million things running through his mind.

"Catch ya later, Daryl," Peter spat some blood on the floor and grinned.

Daryl growled, his impulse was somewhere between punching him again and obeying the gut wrenching request from Q. Unfortunately, years of impulse control issues led him to follow his first instinct, lunging at Peter to knock the smile off his face.

Q stepped in between them and put her hands out to stop him, but he kept moving forward until Q shoved him back, "go!"

He stopped pushing and looked down at her, his eyes showing how wounded he was, but still not making any effort to leave.

"Get. Out!" She finally yelled frantically at him, giving him another aggressive shove with both hands.

He put his hands up angrily and backed away, throwing the door open and slamming it behind him.

"Man that guy..." Peter started to speak, but as the words came out Q spun around and landed a solid punch across his face.

"FUCK!" He yelled as he grabbed his nose again.

"You... you... you COWARD! You fucking left me," she was shaking at this point, so angry she could barely get the words out.

"I know," he muttered behind his hand.

"You... how? How did you get away?" She made her way to the other side of the room and sat on the bench.

"It's a long story."

She glared at him, took a deep breath, and leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms.

“I’ve got nowhere to be Peter."

She paused.

"I want to know why you left... why you decided to save yourself instead of the group."

***

Daryl flew out of the shack, the door slamming and shaking on its hinges behind him, grabbing his crossbow from the table where he’d left it in one swift motion.

"Woah! Dixon!" Tonkin grabbed Daryl's arm to stop him. Daryl yanked his arm from his grip and kept going.

Tonkin ran up in front of him and put his hands out, trying to calm the intense creature in front of him.

"Move," he growled.

"Not until you take it down a notch. Alright? Can't go runnin' around here like this."

Daryl paced for a second, then the gate opened, allowing a group of scavengers back in.

“That's fine," he made a b-line for the gate, "I'll leave."

"Don't be stupid Dixon!" Tonkin yelled after him as he snaked through the small opening of the gate before it closed.

"Ah. Well. Shit." Tonkin muttered to himself, running his hand through his ever-thinning hair as he walked back to his office.

***

He wasn't heading anywhere specific. He just knew he needed to go, get out, hunt... kill... anything to deal with this emotion that was wracking his gut.

' _ Fuckin' tellin' me to get out?! After everything... I got a right to know... whatever that is. Whatever the fuck is going on! _ '

He was yelling in his head, which came out as a growl as he took out a nearby walker with his knife.

' _ Who the fuck is that guy? How does he know about her? _ '

His mind wouldn't stop running, asking new questions that he had no answers for. He needed the answers but he didn't know when or even  _ if _ he would get them.

Then his thoughts went another direction. Devolving into a heart wrenching sort of misery.

' _ Is she gonna leave with that asshole? Fuck. She's gonna be gone when I get back... _ '

His sadness quickly spun back into anger, ' _ fine. Fine! Fuck her if that's all it takes. _ ’

He'd made it to the cow pond a couple miles from The Kingdom before he stopped. He was still pissed and confused... and  _ hurt _ ... he'd let her in. He kicked his heel into a rotting tree trunk by the water, trying to expel the venom he felt inside. He kept kicking at it as it gave way to the force, crushing it beneath his boot until it was nothing but shreds of bark.

He was out of breath, but the anger had at least subsided a bit. He sat on the ground looking out on the pond, alone with his thoughts as he lit the last cigarette in his pack.

He’d thought she was going to stay. He’d thought she'd made that decision that night when he followed her, when he’d stopped her from running away. That night they'd been together for the first time. As he took a drag he thought about that night and the days since. It had been such a short whirlwind but to him it felt like a void was being filled.

He hadn't realized it until just now... now that it might be taken from him.

***

Daryl made his way back to The Kingdom after dark. He'd seen Tonkin at the gate and given him a respectful nod, which was returned, and couldn't help but notice that his office was open and empty, no sign of Q or Peter. His stomach churned as he headed for the kitchen to drop off the two possums he'd killed on the way back in. He grabbed some food from the communal pantry and made his way to his room.

He opened the door to find Q sitting on his bed, waiting for him. His heart beat faster as the knot in his stomach tightened. He had half expected her to be gone, never to see her again... but there she was, so beautiful sitting there lit by just a couple of candles, that he just about lost the ability to speak. He inhaled sharply and closed the door behind him.

"Thought you'd left," he managed to growl out, torn between the relief he felt at finding her here and the fear that she was still planning to leave, putting his crossbow and food he'd grabbed on the small desk.

"What... why?" She was genuinely confused.

"Dunno. Seemed like you might run," he turned to face her, leaning up against the desk, crossing his arms. He kept his distance and was careful not to lock eyes with her... although her scent was already reaching him, he knew if he got too close he'd give into his urges. He felt the need to claim her, claim what he felt was his but right now he didn't know what she was to him or where her head was at.

She stayed sitting on his bed, just watching him. His body language was timid, reserved and closed off. She wasn't sure he even wanted her there, so she just kept watching him... wanting him to see her, look at her and see in her eyes that she wasn't going anywhere.

She finally spoke up, "I'm not running."

Daryl shrugged, still not looking up. They were at a stalemate. Q knew she'd hurt him earlier, pushing him away... it just flew out of her, the panic and adrenaline of seeing Peter. Old habits die hard and she had found herself reverting back to them in that moment.

The silence between them stretched. Neither moving or speaking. Just existing in the same space with their thoughts.

She began questioning herself, what she thought they'd started in the barn... what they were building here... together. Had she read it wrong? Did she misinterpret him? The way he stood there indifferently hurt. Her heart was breaking and as the thoughts poured into her mind, her pride took a hit and self preservation kicked into high gear.

She stood up from the bed making her way to the door, and when he didn't move to stop her, she snapped.

"Fine. Fuck you Dixon."

The room suddenly felt cramped, like it was shrinking as her perspective and beliefs shifted in that moment. She was in an emotional free fall, and with hostility taking the lead she went for the door, needing to get some air.

Now she wanted to run.

He froze. He let her go. He had been caught off guard when he came in and all of the anger slipped right out the door when he saw her. But he was still hurt, his own pride having been sucker punched earlier. She hit him with another blow using his name like that, like a slap in the face. He started pacing, questioning himself, insecurity taking over.

' _ Did I misread her? Naw... Carol saw it too. Caught up in whatever emotional bullshit this is... it's still Q... she's still family... even if she doesn't want... whatever this is... _ '

He stopped pacing, and leaned forward on the desk, deciding his next move. With his hands on the desk and head hung, he pushed his own hurt feelings aside, swallowed his pride, took a deep breath and slammed his fists on the table.

"Fuck," he growled as he grabbed his jacket and took off out the door.

***

Daryl made it all the way to Carol’s with no sign of Q. He'd interrogated practically every person he passed on the way, but no one had seen her. It was like she'd vanished... his heart sank. This is exactly what he was afraid would happen. Except this time, he may have caused it.

He walked straight into Carol's house and b-lined for Q's room. Carol, who had been reading in the chair by the window looked up, startled by his abrupt entrance.

"Daryl? What are you doing?"

"Where she at?" He asked, coming back out of her room. He was starting to sound panicked and he couldn't stop it. This is what she did to him. He’d told her as much a few nights ago, he couldn't think straight when it came to her.

"Daryl. Come sit down, what's going on?"

He paced the room a few times before begrudgingly sitting on the coffee table next to her. He put his face in his hands, then ran then through his hair, pushing the wild and greasy mane away from his face.

"Daryl?" She asked calmly.

He cleared his throat, "I dunno. Before ya’ get pissed, I really don't... ya know that guy, Peter?"

She nodded.

"He knows her... Q. Knew her, I guess... called her by her real name... she looked scared... then pissed... I dunno. I punched the guy... but she made me leave. Told me to go... so I did," he stumbled through the story.

"Ok I'm going to gloss over the part about you punching him, but we'll come back to that later. So you left her to deal with it? Because she told you to?"

He nodded.

"Well that's oddly obedient of you... ok, you haven't seen her since then?"

"She was waiting for me... in my room when I got back tonight. But I fucked up... froze... didn't stop her from leaving," he put his face back in his hands and let out a soft growl.

"Ok... did you go after her?"

"Ya, couldn't find any sign of her... thought maybe she'd made it back here."

Carol let out a soft laugh. "She's still there."

He looked up at her, "What? Where?"

"The Kingdom."

"Nah,” he groans in frustration, “I looked... no one saw her."

"What do you think is more likely? She vanished into the night? Or that the reason no one saw her and that you, of all people, couldn't find her tracks is because there weren't any to find?"

He thought for a moment and his heart sunk. Carol was right... but if she's still there, did she go find Peter when he didn't stop her? His mind took off again on the possibilities.

Carol saw his thought process contort his face...

"Daryl. She's at Ezekiel's."

He snapped back to the moment, "What? Why?"

"So, remember when Q moved in with me? She had been sleeping at Ezekiel's..." she read Daryl's eyes, then tutted, "no, no, not like that. In the room he keeps Shiva in at his house. She kept breaking in to see her. One morning, apparently after she'd been doing this for weeks, he found her asleep by the cage. You know how he is about his rules... didn't like that she kept breaking in... honestly, I think he was worried she'd run away with her," she laughed.

"She's always had a thing for that tiger... guess Shiva liked her too. So much so, that Ezekiel agreed to let her be Shiva's caretaker whenever he had to leave the grounds as long as she agreed to stop breaking into his house. But, Shiva got protective of her I guess... clawed and almost took the arm off one of the guards who got too close... "

"How'd I not know this?"

"Ezekiel tried to keep it quiet, didn't want anyone in The Kingdom to think he couldn't control her. He asked if I'd take in Q, keep an eye on her, while he decided what to do. The guard was patched up, went back to patrols... I think he was killed by a walker soon after that so... well, the ordeal died with him. She'd still sneak off from time to time to see her. Didn't see the harm so I never said anything."

Carol shrugged, “I’d put money on finding her there."

Daryl scoffed and shook his head. ' _ That girl is gunna be the death of me... _ ' he thought to himself.

He looked at Carol, nodded and went for the door.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	16. Time for the Refuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA The Flashback Chapter: Fast and Furious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all there's a lot that happens here, not gonna lie to you. It's important background, but I also didn't want to spend too much time in the past.
> 
> Think of it like the Reader's Digest version of the incident. (For those babies reading-Reader's Digest gave summaries and highlights of tv programs lol )
> 
> ******

_Then_

The turn was less than a year ago and the infrastructure of society had crumbled too quickly, becoming obsolete within a matter of months.

A group of eleven survivors had caravanned with limited supplies and little understanding of what they were facing. They stumbled on the facility while looking for water. It was like the gates of heaven had opened and had selected them to favor. They named it "The Refuge."

The Refuge had shelter, medical supplies, a back stock of water, food and plenty of rooms to share. The original founders formed a council called ‘The Eleven’ and over the next year they welcomed new survivors to the community. Some survived, some didn't, but with every new person, they learned more and more about the world outside and what it had become. Content to start a new life there, they settled in. Building fencing, wells with water canals sourcing from the river up the hill, planted gardens and had started to catch wild hogs, hoping to breed them for food.

All together there were about 50 people, ranging in age from 6 to 60, living there when Victoria arrived. She was scarred, mute, emaciated and filthy. They thought she was a walker at first, but fortunately Andy, a member of The Eleven, realized she wasn't before anyone moved to take her out.

Victoria was given basic medical care and fluids for 3 weeks in the infirmary before The Eleven came to speak with her. They made a point of interviewing all new members of the community before allowing them to stay.

She had been wandering through the woods for months, without a real destination, just following the river and never staying in one place for too long. She survived on anything she could find - nuts, berries and animals if she could catch them. She had a small knife that had dulled over time but, with enough force, would still take down a walker.

After multiple attempts to get her to talk, The Eleven all but gave up. They agreed that she could stay but only if she was kept under the care of one of them to ensure she wasn't a threat. Andy, a 60 year old former counselor took on the charge. He had the most experience with tough cases and had helped many of their current members through their own PTSD.

Andy shared quarters with his wife, Meg, also a member of The Eleven, and two additional wards. Peter, a 35 year old man, and Alex, a 26 year old woman. Over time they had become a surrogate family unit and Victoria was casually thrown into the mix.

After weeks of sharing such a small space, Victoria finally spoke to Meg. "Vic," it came out of the blue, while they were folding laundry, her own voice was so strange to hear... she hadn't spoken in almost a year.

Meg looked at her, slightly shocked, but gave her an encouraging smile, "well! It's nice to finally meet you Vic."

Slowly she spoke more, never offering any real details about where she had been, what had happened to her... especially not about her scars.

One day she'd accidentally walked in on Peter and Alex together. Not realizing they were a couple, it hadn't occurred to her to knock. The little intrusion offered up the opportunity for the three to bond over their shared secret from Meg and Andy. It was nice to have people around again, but she still held her past close to her chest along with the one remaining photo of her family.

She spent her time helping with the chores and learning proper gun technique, self defense and knife fighting from Joel, a former marine. She was surprised how easily she picked up the self defense. She'd done kickboxing and some martial arts as a kid, but knowing that this wasn't just for fun, it was for survival, made her focus that much more. She learned how to handle multiple blades and started scouting with Andy, Peter and Alex.

Another month or so passed when they came across another community, very different from their own. The group called themselves The Patriots... they were an all white survivalist group who kept walkers chained to their perimeter. At first they were amiable... but after they saw what The Refuge had, they believed it was their divine right to take it.

It was hot that night, that kind of sweltering heat that can drive you insane. Some members of The Refuge were sleeping outside, hoping to catch a breeze when the Patriots descended on them in a relentless blaze of guns and power. They killed anyone who didn't submit, regardless of age. Vic had left maybe an hour before the attack to go scouting with Peter, Andy and Alex. When they heard the gunshots, they immediately turned and raced back as fast as they could.

When they got closer they split up, Alex and Peter to the East, Andy and Vic to the West. Sticking close to the tree line, Vic spotted Meg, sitting under an armed guard holding two children in her arms. He was trying to take the kids from her at gun-point, while she was screaming at the top of her lungs to stop.

Vic snapped, without forethought, she bolted from the woods and ran straight for the guard. She landed a small knife in the back of his head and he dropped. Vic brought them back to the woods where Andy was waiting, frozen with shock, his heart breaking watching his home be taken from him.

Vic looked for Peter and Alex but couldn't see them anywhere. Instead she focused on another family that was being held at gunpoint by the picnic tables. The man was yelling so loudly he didn't hear her come up behind him. She kicked the back of his knees, forcing him to drop and slit his throat with her second blade. After she had reunited the family with Andy and Meg, she went to find other survivors.

As she came around the corner of the main building she saw the bodies... and the remaining members of The Refuge sitting against the wall. She finally spotted Peter and Alex in the group. There were only two guards between her and them. Knowing that she could take at least one out with a dagger, she hoped she could take the other one out on her own before he had a chance to knock her out.

She took off at full speed, running on pure adrenaline at this point, and threw a knife into the first guard's back. Alex saw her coming and was able to distract the second guard by grabbing his gun, giving Vic time to retrieve her knife and take him out too.

Alex and Peter ran to the woods, while Vic ushered Andy, Meg and the rest of the survivors to follow. She heard a Patriot’s guard yell and suddenly they were being shot at. She heard Meg scream out, turning to see that the two children had been killed and that Meg was wounded.

Vic ran towards her and was only feet away when a bullet caught Meg in the head. Vic stopped in her tracks and she was swiftly tackled. The Patriot guard punched her, took away her weapons and then led her to the others they had already captured. Only Andy and Alex were there. Andy looked to Vic, realizing she was alone and knowing what that meant, he let out a pained wail. It was a sound she would never be able to forget.

When Vic looked back to the guards, a figure moving in between the trees behind them caught her attention. She knew immediately from the gait that it was Peter and a wave of hope came over her. One of the guards lit a flare, signaling the others that they had prisoners. When the light hit Peter's face, that wave of hope became hopelessness. She could see it in his eyes... he wasn't going to save them, he was going to save himself. He shook his head slowly before turning and running into the darkness behind him. Alex had seen him too, and when Peter ran, she screamed in rage and tried to go after him. Impulsively, the guard closest to her shot her in the head when she was getting to her feet.

Vic saw red. Nothing but red. It was all a blur and before she could think she attacked the guard that had killed Alex. She tackled him to the ground and began punching him with everything she had. As he started to become nothing but blood and mush, she saw that Andy was wrestling with the second guard. She picked up the dead guard's gun, then heard a shot go off. Andy hit the ground, holding his stomach. Vic shot the guard through the head without a second thought and quickly went to Andy, who was bleeding out. She applied pressure, removing her jacket to help stop the blood.

"Tell me what to do... you have to tell me what to do!" Panic was setting in as the adrenaline wearing off.

"Here. You have to spare me..." He handed her his ornate dagger, "...end this and  _ run _ , Victoria..."

She took the dagger from his hand and pulled him close. They both knew the wound was too deep and that their attackers wouldn't care for him… There was only one choice.

"Thank you..." she whispered in his ear, trying to remain calm for him, "thank you for saving me."

Andy smiled into her shoulder and squeezed her arm, letting her know he was ready. Vic slid the blade into the base of his skull and she felt him go limp in her arms. She shuddered at the weight and slowly lowered him to the ground.

After only a moment to mourn, Victoria grabbed the guns, her knives and the jacket Alex had been wearing. She ran, ran away from the noise and blood. The rest of that night was a blur... she had blacked out at some point and woke up by a river.

She wandered again, following the water to wherever it would take her. Replaying that night in her mind, questioning everything... had she actually seen Peter?  _ Yes _ . She was sure of it. Hatred boiled in the pit of her stomach and she knew that Andy and Alex would both be alive if he hadn't been such a coward.

She knew right then that if she ever saw him again, she'd kill him.

After a few days, she stumbled into Merryville, Louisiana. After scoping out the town from the outskirts, she made her way through the abandoned cars and trash until she found an old gas station. It has been looted, and there wasn't much in the way of supplies, but she did find a book of state maps. After throwing the few rations she'd scraped together into a pack she'd found in the gas station office, she laid the map out on the desk.

After she found Merryville on the map she flipped the pages to find the only other place she could think of to go: Cartersville, Georgia. Her great uncle's house was off the main roads and secluded. And maybe, just maybe,  _ they'd _ still be alive…

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew... heavy chapter but now we can move ahead with some context about Peter the schmuck 🥵

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!


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